Check it out at:
http://FitnessStartsWithYou.wordpress.com
http://AnswerStartsWithYou.wordpress.com
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I'm not a writer and I make lots of mistakes
I'm skimming a book about getting over the fear and paralysis of writing. Most people have trouble writing because they want it to be well written on the first draft and few people are able to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) well on the first go. Writers are hard on themselves, and expect perfection.
Obviously, I'm not a writer. I'm going way too fast to even expect anything close to perfection. When I re-read my previous post about Vanessa Mae 24 hours later, it occurred to me I didn't even read or correct the grammar mistakes prior to posting it! DOH!
Sigh. Now, that's not taking oneself too seriously. I know I make mistakes (lots actually), but I accept that because I know sometimes, the hardest step is the first one. Here's to putting it all out there! :)
If only I could correct my grammar on other people's posts... oops!
Obviously, I'm not a writer. I'm going way too fast to even expect anything close to perfection. When I re-read my previous post about Vanessa Mae 24 hours later, it occurred to me I didn't even read or correct the grammar mistakes prior to posting it! DOH!
Sigh. Now, that's not taking oneself too seriously. I know I make mistakes (lots actually), but I accept that because I know sometimes, the hardest step is the first one. Here's to putting it all out there! :)
If only I could correct my grammar on other people's posts... oops!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A Different Artist
I remember many years ago in the mid-late 1990's, my husband made me listen to some music. Since our musical taste does not always match, it was no surprise when I was a little concerned about what I was about to subject my ears to.
The artist was Vanessa Mae and the album was her first one - The Violin Player. I'll be honest - I was sceptical when he told me Vanessa Mae played violin with a techno spin. Remember - this was the mid 1990's. Another artist named Ashley MacIsaac, a Canadian East Coast fiddler, was also gaining media attention through non-traditional music, and controversial interviews. It was as if the violin world had been turned upside down.
"Violins are for classical music!" people said. Like many others, I had only been exposed to traditional 'violin' music when I played from grade 8 until high school graduation. These artists were messing with traditional sound!
Alright, alright - who am I kidding? I loved it! I could quickly see how both these artists were going to change violin music. It was going to open up the art-form to a whole new group of people and I could see absolutely no harm in that. I don't believe in keeping things "pure" and in fact, think that Purity is like snuffing out Opportunity.
On that note (ha ha), I'd like you to consider what thoughts or ideas you have that may just change the landscape in ways no one else has tried? It's easy to be a naysayer and everyone does it well - but that is the worn, well formed path. Take the tougher, harder road. I dare you to.
P.S. Here's one of Vanessa Mae's videos.
The artist was Vanessa Mae and the album was her first one - The Violin Player. I'll be honest - I was sceptical when he told me Vanessa Mae played violin with a techno spin. Remember - this was the mid 1990's. Another artist named Ashley MacIsaac, a Canadian East Coast fiddler, was also gaining media attention through non-traditional music, and controversial interviews. It was as if the violin world had been turned upside down.
"Violins are for classical music!" people said. Like many others, I had only been exposed to traditional 'violin' music when I played from grade 8 until high school graduation. These artists were messing with traditional sound!
Alright, alright - who am I kidding? I loved it! I could quickly see how both these artists were going to change violin music. It was going to open up the art-form to a whole new group of people and I could see absolutely no harm in that. I don't believe in keeping things "pure" and in fact, think that Purity is like snuffing out Opportunity.
On that note (ha ha), I'd like you to consider what thoughts or ideas you have that may just change the landscape in ways no one else has tried? It's easy to be a naysayer and everyone does it well - but that is the worn, well formed path. Take the tougher, harder road. I dare you to.
P.S. Here's one of Vanessa Mae's videos.
Monday, April 21, 2008
I hate customers
I hate customers.
I know, I know - without them, I'd have nothing. The company would have nothing. But some customers spoil it for everyone else. I wonder how some people can live their lives doing things that they know are wrong. I don't know how they justify it.
And now, I've even let a bad customer take away my happy thoughts - now that's a shame. I'll have to let this one slide before it takes any more of my time and energy.
I know, I know - without them, I'd have nothing. The company would have nothing. But some customers spoil it for everyone else. I wonder how some people can live their lives doing things that they know are wrong. I don't know how they justify it.
And now, I've even let a bad customer take away my happy thoughts - now that's a shame. I'll have to let this one slide before it takes any more of my time and energy.
I hate bad customers.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sun, Water, Rocks and Water Guns
Friday was the first day this year I turned the AC on in the car. And before I turned on the AC, I rolled down the window and enjoyed the breeze.
It's Sunday afternoon and for the past 36 hours, the water guns, kiddie pools, swimsuits have all come out twice already as the kids have began their summer play.
For the adults (that's me), I've brought out the music, drinks and food. Even the laptop is out getting some Vitamin D as I write this. Enjoy the first taste of summer. Yum.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
80's Memories
I teach fitness classes and the latest music includes a cover of the George Michael song "Freedom". Of course, this takes me back to the 80's where I remember fondly:
MuchMusic (the MTV equivalent in Canada)
Video killed the Radio Star
Madonna's Lucky Star
Wham (what did it say on those shirts?)
Duran Duran - could they have been the first boy band?
Frankie told us to Relax
Cyndi reminded us Girls just wanna have fun
CD's (bye bye tapes, bye bye Vinyl - damn - how am I going to play those records?)
We all have our own memories and I even have cool memories about other things like Diana getting married and having babies and not so cool ones like Reagan getting shot. What I'll remember most about the 80's are the friends who helped me get through the decade in that roller coaster ride we call life. Thanks for the music and thanks for the memories.
I leave you with an early 90's song from George Michael called Praying for Time from my angrier phase when I was grumbling about other people not caring and acting. It all starts with you and me and it only took me decades to learn that one.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Go fly a kite
Or go buy a sailboat? Life's too short.
This one's for you buddy! :)
Apr 20 update: OMG - you bought a sailboat! Congrats! :)
This one's for you buddy! :)
Apr 20 update: OMG - you bought a sailboat! Congrats! :)
Sunday, April 13, 2008
What the Frak?
As I was catching up on the first 2 episodes of Season 4 of Battlestar Galactica the other day, I was amazed at what the characters were saying. It was as if they were speaking to me regarding life and life's questions and answers.
I love this show in so many ways - from the smart story-telling, to the incredible acting (Canadian actors too!), to the cinematography (I have no idea what that means - I only know it looks amazing) - there is a lot to appreciate. Without giving away anything about the show, let's call it a story about 2 races - the Humans and the Cylons. In fact, a battle between good and evil.
The thought suggested on the show was that if you were Cylon (supposedly evil) and never knew it until now, does that change anything about who you were prior to today.
Say for example, you always fought against the Cylons. You lived your entire life devoted to helping yourself and others in beating them mentally and physically. Now, what happens if you find out today that you are actually Cylon and always have been. What does that mean? What defines you? Your thoughts, beliefs and actions, or your genetics?
Here's what I believe: I'm Human. And even if I were Cylon, it really wouldn't matter because I believe what defines me are things within my control (not genetics). What I believe and what I choose to do is who I am. So I choose to believe that I am capable and able to do whatever it is I need to do in this life and if that means battling Cylons for instance, then so be it. Every day is a new day for kicking some Cylon butt. You game?
If you want a 4 minute introduction to the miniseries, click here.
If you want an 8 minute video summary of the past 3 years worth of episodes (that would mean all spoilers), try watching this.
I love this show in so many ways - from the smart story-telling, to the incredible acting (Canadian actors too!), to the cinematography (I have no idea what that means - I only know it looks amazing) - there is a lot to appreciate. Without giving away anything about the show, let's call it a story about 2 races - the Humans and the Cylons. In fact, a battle between good and evil.
The thought suggested on the show was that if you were Cylon (supposedly evil) and never knew it until now, does that change anything about who you were prior to today.
Say for example, you always fought against the Cylons. You lived your entire life devoted to helping yourself and others in beating them mentally and physically. Now, what happens if you find out today that you are actually Cylon and always have been. What does that mean? What defines you? Your thoughts, beliefs and actions, or your genetics?
Here's what I believe: I'm Human. And even if I were Cylon, it really wouldn't matter because I believe what defines me are things within my control (not genetics). What I believe and what I choose to do is who I am. So I choose to believe that I am capable and able to do whatever it is I need to do in this life and if that means battling Cylons for instance, then so be it. Every day is a new day for kicking some Cylon butt. You game?
If you want a 4 minute introduction to the miniseries, click here.
If you want an 8 minute video summary of the past 3 years worth of episodes (that would mean all spoilers), try watching this.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Understanding People
QuestionableMe suggested that trying to ’figure people out’ would be impossible. QM suggests that the failure is due to assumptions based on logic and rational thought. I believe the underlying question isn't about whether you can predict someone, but whether you can (or should try to) understand them. I like where QM went in the summary of why you might want to 'figure out' people and I'll suggest another question.
What does it mean to understand someone?
Let's take a typical example of meeting someone brand new for the first time. You begin by talking about things like the weather, and then basic vital stats - where you went to school, what you took, where you work, what you do, your favourite music, books, movies, your family stats, etc etc. They are in some ways meaningless - you can find 2 individuals who have exactly the same vital stats and find that you have nothing in common. I believe as you're sharing this information in the beginning, what is not said, reveals the more interesting information. You begin to guess that this person is very intense or very easy-going. You begin to hear and think about their ethics and motivations. You make judgements on whether this person is 'interesting' to you or not.
Taking the time to get to know someone is a compliment: "I like what I see and hear and I want to know more." Understanding someone isn't necessarily about being able to predict their behaviour - not even the individual can always do that because humans make decisions and behave based on logical and emotional responses. Just because we can not always predict ones' behaviour doesn't mean we shouldn't try to understand them.
In that understanding of others, we learn about ourselves. Ultimately, isn't it understanding yourself, your goals and dreams what really drives your ultimate happiness in life?
Get to know someone better and you may find you got to know yourself better.
What does it mean to understand someone?
Let's take a typical example of meeting someone brand new for the first time. You begin by talking about things like the weather, and then basic vital stats - where you went to school, what you took, where you work, what you do, your favourite music, books, movies, your family stats, etc etc. They are in some ways meaningless - you can find 2 individuals who have exactly the same vital stats and find that you have nothing in common. I believe as you're sharing this information in the beginning, what is not said, reveals the more interesting information. You begin to guess that this person is very intense or very easy-going. You begin to hear and think about their ethics and motivations. You make judgements on whether this person is 'interesting' to you or not.
Taking the time to get to know someone is a compliment: "I like what I see and hear and I want to know more." Understanding someone isn't necessarily about being able to predict their behaviour - not even the individual can always do that because humans make decisions and behave based on logical and emotional responses. Just because we can not always predict ones' behaviour doesn't mean we shouldn't try to understand them.
In that understanding of others, we learn about ourselves. Ultimately, isn't it understanding yourself, your goals and dreams what really drives your ultimate happiness in life?
Get to know someone better and you may find you got to know yourself better.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Passion is...
According to Wikipedia, passion is "feeling very strongly about a subject or person. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for anything and often requiring action."
Others tell me I'm a passionate person and according to the description above, I'd say that's pretty accurate. If I feel strongly about something, I do feel the need to act on it - and sometimes, it is as simple as communicating that message to others. Yet, many times, I talk to people who feel a passion towards something and yet are unable to act. They dream of what they would do, if they won the lottery, or what they would do with free time, or where they would go if they could take a trip. It seems we all have dreams and passions that go unfulfilled. Yet this is our own doing; not anyone else's.
Why don't you do it? What are you afraid of?
I know I have my reasons for why I may not act at times, and I try to minimize that fear of making the wrong choice. At times, the fear should be not in making the wrong choice, but perhaps the fear of not making a choice at all.
I encourage you to live your life the way you want to live it today and don't delay any longer. Life's too short.
Others tell me I'm a passionate person and according to the description above, I'd say that's pretty accurate. If I feel strongly about something, I do feel the need to act on it - and sometimes, it is as simple as communicating that message to others. Yet, many times, I talk to people who feel a passion towards something and yet are unable to act. They dream of what they would do, if they won the lottery, or what they would do with free time, or where they would go if they could take a trip. It seems we all have dreams and passions that go unfulfilled. Yet this is our own doing; not anyone else's.
Why don't you do it? What are you afraid of?
I know I have my reasons for why I may not act at times, and I try to minimize that fear of making the wrong choice. At times, the fear should be not in making the wrong choice, but perhaps the fear of not making a choice at all.
I encourage you to live your life the way you want to live it today and don't delay any longer. Life's too short.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Are you having fun yet?
The interactive displays at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) in Toronto, Canada make for easy fun for kids. Dress-up and fantasy are things that kids easily do without thinking twice about. How many adults do you normally see getting into the groove and act like a kid again? What is it that stops us from acting goofy? I have yet to hear a good reason for this. If you were at the ROM the other day, you would have seen grown-ups dressing up alongside the kids having a blast.
Stop thinking about what the rules are and start being and doing whatever it is you want to do. Be a kid again and don't forget to have fun.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Daisy's Doubts
We all have days when our “can’t do it” voice is a bit louder than we’d like. For instance, listen for a moment to my inner voice talking…
“You can’t write?!!”
“There are so many blogs out there – why would anyone be interested in reading yours?”
“What makes you the subject matter expert?”
“You only just started one blog, and now you’ve got 2 active, and a 3rd on the way?”
Wow, eh. What was I thinking? Who am I kidding? Why am I doing this? And those poor people who are reading this – what must they think? Oh dear. But wait, let’s delve deeper into those thoughts.
Why in the world am I doing this? Because I enjoy it! If I have an expectation that tons of people are going to come and read this, then, I might be disappointed, but if I keep my expectations reasonable, then there will be no disappointment. I write because it makes me happy and I get motivated by making a positive impact on people’s lives.
I started Answer Starts With You a few months ago as just a personal place to put my thoughts. I put it out in the Blogosphere in March 2008. A few days ago, I started Fitness Starts With You. In a few short days, I noticed visits from India, Argentina, Switzerland, United Kingdom, United States and of course my home country Canada. To think I went from zero to something in a few short days is really a fantastic feat considering all I wanted to do was just write.
So thank you for coming. Thank you for reading. If you’re enjoying this, please write comments, notes, feedback and forward the link to others. Just remember the more you read, the more I'll write.
P.S. Plus, look how I’ve learned to include photos, embed links that open in new windows and other stuff I couldn’t do just a few days ago!
“You can’t write?!!”
“There are so many blogs out there – why would anyone be interested in reading yours?”
“What makes you the subject matter expert?”
“You only just started one blog, and now you’ve got 2 active, and a 3rd on the way?”
Wow, eh. What was I thinking? Who am I kidding? Why am I doing this? And those poor people who are reading this – what must they think? Oh dear. But wait, let’s delve deeper into those thoughts.
Why in the world am I doing this? Because I enjoy it! If I have an expectation that tons of people are going to come and read this, then, I might be disappointed, but if I keep my expectations reasonable, then there will be no disappointment. I write because it makes me happy and I get motivated by making a positive impact on people’s lives.
I started Answer Starts With You a few months ago as just a personal place to put my thoughts. I put it out in the Blogosphere in March 2008. A few days ago, I started Fitness Starts With You. In a few short days, I noticed visits from India, Argentina, Switzerland, United Kingdom, United States and of course my home country Canada. To think I went from zero to something in a few short days is really a fantastic feat considering all I wanted to do was just write.
So thank you for coming. Thank you for reading. If you’re enjoying this, please write comments, notes, feedback and forward the link to others. Just remember the more you read, the more I'll write.
P.S. Plus, look how I’ve learned to include photos, embed links that open in new windows and other stuff I couldn’t do just a few days ago!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
A Different Diet
I don't know why people love to diet. Okay, actually, I do know why people go on diets but diets don't work, (and that is a whole other story).
Since people like the term, I thought that I could give new meaning to the word 'diet'. I think it is time to go on a Vocabulary Diet.
This diet will take some time to adjust, and we'll fumble at first, but with consistency and a conscious effort, I know we can succeed. Let's just start with one word to start, and with time, we'll add more to the list.
Let's start with the easy target and remove this phrase:
"I Can't"
Examples:
"I can't afford that. I can't get a raise. I can't meet people.
I can't find a girlfriend/boyfriend. I can't get a job. I can't fit
into my clothes. I can't.."
Replace with:
"How can I afford that? How can I get a raise? How can I meet
people? How can I find a girlfriend/boyfriend? How can I get a
job? How can I fit into my clothes? How can I...?"
As Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try."
P.S. If you're looking for strategies on making fitness enjoyable, check out my other blog here.
Since people like the term, I thought that I could give new meaning to the word 'diet'. I think it is time to go on a Vocabulary Diet.
This diet will take some time to adjust, and we'll fumble at first, but with consistency and a conscious effort, I know we can succeed. Let's just start with one word to start, and with time, we'll add more to the list.
Let's start with the easy target and remove this phrase:
"I Can't"
Examples:
"I can't afford that. I can't get a raise. I can't meet people.
I can't find a girlfriend/boyfriend. I can't get a job. I can't fit
into my clothes. I can't.."
Replace with:
"How can I afford that? How can I get a raise? How can I meet
people? How can I find a girlfriend/boyfriend? How can I get a
job? How can I fit into my clothes? How can I...?"
As Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try."
P.S. If you're looking for strategies on making fitness enjoyable, check out my other blog here.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Creative People doing their thing
I've previously posted about how the adult world seems to systematically break creativity out of us while I personally try to keep it more front and centre with my box of crayons.
I think this is definately a skill I can improve on even more, especially when I find special "blogs of note" like Found In Pockets and People Reading. And for something a little different (and lesser known), try Questionable Me.
I think this is definately a skill I can improve on even more, especially when I find special "blogs of note" like Found In Pockets and People Reading. And for something a little different (and lesser known), try Questionable Me.
They are fabulous examples of people who have the gumption to do something different and then get noticed (positively) for it. Plus, they are also fabulous examples of living in the moment. I ask again, how do you live your life?
Changing Perspectives
Sometimes we need to twist our necks around in order to see something that might have always been under our noses. Or we need someone else who's already looking at it from a different angle. I suppose that's why we ask others for their opinion.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
More grumpiness
It must be cultural or something. I really don't understand why some people only look at the negative side of things.
Here's an example. The discussion was regarding selling the existing home, and buying a condominium. There are many valid reasons for considering this move, and this has been discussed by the couple for well over 10 years already. In the past 10 years, I continue to hear excuses about why the move hasn't happened yet, however, I can tell in the discussion, they really are moving further along in the process. For instance, I've been part of discussions regarding painting their current home. (For background, I've painted 2 full houses top to bottom in less time than they've spent discussing their potential move.) What I heard them say was that painting was difficult and would be hard for them to do. This would be (I believe) the 3rd time I've offered to paint their house (for free). My only rule is that they can not be in the house when I am painting. They move as much as they can, and leave the rest, and I will take care of it.
Doesn't that sound like a very reasonable proposition? Especially if you've seen my painting skills - pretty darn good quality at that price (and fast too!). But alas, they are not sold. Somehow even after I gave them the best offer I could (I go buy the paint for you, I move the furniture for you, I provide the stuff to paint with, I clean up for you, - I take all the hassles out and all you have to do is pay for the paint and they're still not convinced. Do they realize it doesn't get any better than this, if they seriously want their home painted? This is what I heard next: "you know, it's really hard to sell and buy a home - if you sell first, and then can't find one to buy, you're screwed. If you buy first, and then can't sell yours, you're screwed again. Maybe we shouldn't even move."
Please help me understand people like this. What do they really want? To just find excuses to complain about something?!!
If you're wondering - of course it's family.
Here's an example. The discussion was regarding selling the existing home, and buying a condominium. There are many valid reasons for considering this move, and this has been discussed by the couple for well over 10 years already. In the past 10 years, I continue to hear excuses about why the move hasn't happened yet, however, I can tell in the discussion, they really are moving further along in the process. For instance, I've been part of discussions regarding painting their current home. (For background, I've painted 2 full houses top to bottom in less time than they've spent discussing their potential move.) What I heard them say was that painting was difficult and would be hard for them to do. This would be (I believe) the 3rd time I've offered to paint their house (for free). My only rule is that they can not be in the house when I am painting. They move as much as they can, and leave the rest, and I will take care of it.
Doesn't that sound like a very reasonable proposition? Especially if you've seen my painting skills - pretty darn good quality at that price (and fast too!). But alas, they are not sold. Somehow even after I gave them the best offer I could (I go buy the paint for you, I move the furniture for you, I provide the stuff to paint with, I clean up for you, - I take all the hassles out and all you have to do is pay for the paint and they're still not convinced. Do they realize it doesn't get any better than this, if they seriously want their home painted? This is what I heard next: "you know, it's really hard to sell and buy a home - if you sell first, and then can't find one to buy, you're screwed. If you buy first, and then can't sell yours, you're screwed again. Maybe we shouldn't even move."
Please help me understand people like this. What do they really want? To just find excuses to complain about something?!!
If you're wondering - of course it's family.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Creative Writing
Last night I did some searching through blogs for some keywords and I was stunned by the sheer volume of quality writing by so many people!
What struck me was how many creative writers there are out there who are able to weave incredible poems and stories in ways that would be impossible for me. Yet - is it really impossible? Alas, of course I can not give up quite that easily. I will have to make an attempt at writing some short piece of fiction just to see and should I fail to post something here then you'll know that it was far more difficult than I anticipated. That, or I just got really lazy or busy.
P.S. - Click here for a great one!
What struck me was how many creative writers there are out there who are able to weave incredible poems and stories in ways that would be impossible for me. Yet - is it really impossible? Alas, of course I can not give up quite that easily. I will have to make an attempt at writing some short piece of fiction just to see and should I fail to post something here then you'll know that it was far more difficult than I anticipated. That, or I just got really lazy or busy.
P.S. - Click here for a great one!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Not for Grumpy People
Some people are so miserable and grumpy, I wonder if they know how to smile. Every opportunity you give them, turns into excuses for why something won't work. I'm not sure if it's a cultural thing (though I'm sure that has some impact) but I wonder if they've ever been exposed to the other side of the coin.
I started to wonder why I even feel so passionately about grumpy people. Why do I care what they think. I mean, they exist, they live their lives and who am I to judge or make comment on how they choose to live their lives? If they want to be grumpy - let them, right?! If I dissect this further, I realize what has changed in me internally - I used to be grumpier, and I see the light now.
I used to think of it as "the glass is half empty but it means we can easily fill it up with more". I guess I always used to see additional opportunities when it looked a bit tough. Now, I realize there is even another way - "the glass is half full AND we can easily fill it up with more".
I am amazed at the impact this attitude has on everyone around me. Not only am I happier, everyone around me is happier! The facts have not changed, yet we all seem to be having more fun trying to fill the glass! With this change, I now want to share this secret even with the grumpy people.
I realize though that some people are absolutely satisfied in their grumpiness and that won't change until they decide they're ready to change. Sometimes, I need to keep my passion in check and make sure I don't waste too much time on the grumpy.
This blog is not for the grumpy. It's for those who are already open and ready - let's share the secret and pass it along.
I started to wonder why I even feel so passionately about grumpy people. Why do I care what they think. I mean, they exist, they live their lives and who am I to judge or make comment on how they choose to live their lives? If they want to be grumpy - let them, right?! If I dissect this further, I realize what has changed in me internally - I used to be grumpier, and I see the light now.
I used to think of it as "the glass is half empty but it means we can easily fill it up with more". I guess I always used to see additional opportunities when it looked a bit tough. Now, I realize there is even another way - "the glass is half full AND we can easily fill it up with more".
I am amazed at the impact this attitude has on everyone around me. Not only am I happier, everyone around me is happier! The facts have not changed, yet we all seem to be having more fun trying to fill the glass! With this change, I now want to share this secret even with the grumpy people.
I realize though that some people are absolutely satisfied in their grumpiness and that won't change until they decide they're ready to change. Sometimes, I need to keep my passion in check and make sure I don't waste too much time on the grumpy.
This blog is not for the grumpy. It's for those who are already open and ready - let's share the secret and pass it along.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Deja Vu
Someone I know absolutely believes in destiny. What is surprising about him, is that you would think he's the last person in the world to believe this. He takes control of his life and conquers everything he sets his mind to. He's very much a 'driver' behind the wheels of his life.
So, when he tells me that he believes, of course I have to ask.
Daisy says... So, if your destiny was to find treasure worth 50 million dollars, why would you even go looking for it, when it will happen anyway?
He says... I don't know what my destiny is. I don't know if it is to find or not find that treasure. If I stop looking, it is for a reason. If I start looking, it is for a reason, and that was meant to happen. The only part that is missing, is I don't know what is meant to happen.
Daisy says... Why do you believe?
He says... Have you ever had deja vu? I've had it a few times and everytime, it is amazing how clear it is, and I realize as it is happening that either this has happened before, or I know exactly what is going to happen next. I know exactly what path I am supposed to take next. It is as if something is guiding me accurately to wherever I am supposed to go.
Daisy says... I have and each time, I swear it is a scene that is not only familiar, but incredibly clear and accurate. You're right. I know what will happen next, and I know what decision or path I should take. I'm only redoing the scene again.
Many of us experience deja vu - it's strange and scary because we have no idea what it means. We can't begin to understand it, and that scares us. It is particularly disconcerting for those of us who believe we take control of our own lives and make things happen in our lives. Yet, I love his answer - it's simple. Of course. It makes sense.
Thanks buddy. I'll continue on my way, because I feel it in my gut, and because it's my destiny.
So, when he tells me that he believes, of course I have to ask.
Daisy says... So, if your destiny was to find treasure worth 50 million dollars, why would you even go looking for it, when it will happen anyway?
He says... I don't know what my destiny is. I don't know if it is to find or not find that treasure. If I stop looking, it is for a reason. If I start looking, it is for a reason, and that was meant to happen. The only part that is missing, is I don't know what is meant to happen.
Daisy says... Why do you believe?
He says... Have you ever had deja vu? I've had it a few times and everytime, it is amazing how clear it is, and I realize as it is happening that either this has happened before, or I know exactly what is going to happen next. I know exactly what path I am supposed to take next. It is as if something is guiding me accurately to wherever I am supposed to go.
Daisy says... I have and each time, I swear it is a scene that is not only familiar, but incredibly clear and accurate. You're right. I know what will happen next, and I know what decision or path I should take. I'm only redoing the scene again.
Many of us experience deja vu - it's strange and scary because we have no idea what it means. We can't begin to understand it, and that scares us. It is particularly disconcerting for those of us who believe we take control of our own lives and make things happen in our lives. Yet, I love his answer - it's simple. Of course. It makes sense.
Thanks buddy. I'll continue on my way, because I feel it in my gut, and because it's my destiny.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Enlightenment
I was having a debate with someone yesterday and I guess I feel so strongly about this, that I have to put it down in black and white. And just because I feel strongly about it today, does not mean my opinion may not change tomorrow if you introduce new information for me.
Be forewarned. You may disagree.
Her belief is that ignorant people should be enlightened. We should do a better job of telling people in other societies, communities and cultures about our ways. Let me use a specific example. We should tell others that women are treated as equals and not inferior to men.
(I'm going to get flack for this, I can tell. Here goes.)
I know that as a woman living in Canada, I enjoy freedoms and rights that I think are rightfully mine to enjoy. In fact, I think we still have some more ways to go to attempt to reach the equality balance. Having said that, I do not agree that everyone needs to be aware of this.
What I mean is that if you're from a culture where women are not seen as equals, I do not see it as my job (or anyone else's for that matter) to enlighten all the women of this culture that they should not accept this inequity. By 'enlightening' them, it is imposing our belief system on another group, and who is to judge on which system is better, or even the right one? Someone even referred to Star Trek - one of their rules is to not change the species/people they meet by imposing Star Trek beliefs. It is true. We do not know of who they are, and what they value, and why it is the way it is - who are we to judge another culture/group of people?
I can certainly judge what I know of it and say "wow, that sucks, and I would never be happy there", however, I can not continue drawing a line to say, "wow, that sucks, and no women would or should ever be happy there". We assume that we know better because we live differently. I am sure that there are people (including women) who are satisifed with the life they live in these cultures. Morever, some of them, may even not appreciate getting the information. Some people don't know what to do, or feel that there is nothing they can do.
Now that you think I'm crazy, here's what else I believe.
Some people, in any society, questions things. They are the ones who seek out to be enlightened. They want to understand the world beyond their own group. Information is available for those seeking it and though it may not always be easy, I think for those who have a will, there is a way. I believe that information needs to be relayed internally. It is not from outsiders (like us judging others), but from insiders who live and breathe it every day. They are the ones who are better able to understand their world, and therefore, the additional information the outside world can provide. There are always the early adopters in any society who seek, find and begin to make change. I think we need to let them find whatever information they need. Our only job is to make the information available.
Be forewarned. You may disagree.
Her belief is that ignorant people should be enlightened. We should do a better job of telling people in other societies, communities and cultures about our ways. Let me use a specific example. We should tell others that women are treated as equals and not inferior to men.
(I'm going to get flack for this, I can tell. Here goes.)
I know that as a woman living in Canada, I enjoy freedoms and rights that I think are rightfully mine to enjoy. In fact, I think we still have some more ways to go to attempt to reach the equality balance. Having said that, I do not agree that everyone needs to be aware of this.
What I mean is that if you're from a culture where women are not seen as equals, I do not see it as my job (or anyone else's for that matter) to enlighten all the women of this culture that they should not accept this inequity. By 'enlightening' them, it is imposing our belief system on another group, and who is to judge on which system is better, or even the right one? Someone even referred to Star Trek - one of their rules is to not change the species/people they meet by imposing Star Trek beliefs. It is true. We do not know of who they are, and what they value, and why it is the way it is - who are we to judge another culture/group of people?
I can certainly judge what I know of it and say "wow, that sucks, and I would never be happy there", however, I can not continue drawing a line to say, "wow, that sucks, and no women would or should ever be happy there". We assume that we know better because we live differently. I am sure that there are people (including women) who are satisifed with the life they live in these cultures. Morever, some of them, may even not appreciate getting the information. Some people don't know what to do, or feel that there is nothing they can do.
Now that you think I'm crazy, here's what else I believe.
Some people, in any society, questions things. They are the ones who seek out to be enlightened. They want to understand the world beyond their own group. Information is available for those seeking it and though it may not always be easy, I think for those who have a will, there is a way. I believe that information needs to be relayed internally. It is not from outsiders (like us judging others), but from insiders who live and breathe it every day. They are the ones who are better able to understand their world, and therefore, the additional information the outside world can provide. There are always the early adopters in any society who seek, find and begin to make change. I think we need to let them find whatever information they need. Our only job is to make the information available.
Friday, March 21, 2008
The Freedom of Insanity
I read another book. It talks of insanity and the freedom that this label gives the person.
The proposition is that when you are labeled crazy, you can do whatever you want and no one will think much of it because, afterall, you're already crazy - you're not rational. Of course you would do nutty things.
I love this idea. I know some people think that at times, I have my moments that are "out there". What justifies my ability to say or do these things is honestly, caring less about what other people think. It's about letting go of the status quo, and what 'normal' people do in the situation, and what 'normal' businesses would do. It is about getting creative. In that process of getting creative, some outlandish ideas may appear but once in a while, we may find a golden nugget, and is that golden nugget not worth the effort?
We seem to be so risk-averse that everything we do needs the approval of our friends, family and society at large. I'd like to think I take into consideration what they think and then make my own decision. I know I've made decisions that others have challenged and come out on the winning end in spite of the obstacles. I've also made decisions that have not been as successful. I don't take these as failures, but learning experiences, and for every success, most people have lots of other attempts. Success is not necessarily 'hard' - I think it just takes perserverance.
Sometimes, we give too much power to our friends and family and think they may know us better. You know yourself better than anyone else. Take a tip from the crazy and have the freedom to think and be and do, while not worrying what others might think. Besides, crazy is just another way to label unique. Be unique. Be yourself.
The proposition is that when you are labeled crazy, you can do whatever you want and no one will think much of it because, afterall, you're already crazy - you're not rational. Of course you would do nutty things.
I love this idea. I know some people think that at times, I have my moments that are "out there". What justifies my ability to say or do these things is honestly, caring less about what other people think. It's about letting go of the status quo, and what 'normal' people do in the situation, and what 'normal' businesses would do. It is about getting creative. In that process of getting creative, some outlandish ideas may appear but once in a while, we may find a golden nugget, and is that golden nugget not worth the effort?
We seem to be so risk-averse that everything we do needs the approval of our friends, family and society at large. I'd like to think I take into consideration what they think and then make my own decision. I know I've made decisions that others have challenged and come out on the winning end in spite of the obstacles. I've also made decisions that have not been as successful. I don't take these as failures, but learning experiences, and for every success, most people have lots of other attempts. Success is not necessarily 'hard' - I think it just takes perserverance.
Sometimes, we give too much power to our friends and family and think they may know us better. You know yourself better than anyone else. Take a tip from the crazy and have the freedom to think and be and do, while not worrying what others might think. Besides, crazy is just another way to label unique. Be unique. Be yourself.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Misguided Reflections
I hear funny comments on a regular basis. Since I'm a fitness instructor, the participants in my class tend to ask me questions related to fitness and a very common one is "how do you stay so thin?".
In fact, someone asked me that today. Instead of my usual answer, I laughed and replied "it's not like you're a cow you know". I can not imagine anyone in their right mind would consider this person 'big' and yet this question asked so many times by young women with great bodies reflects an internal struggle and a body-image perception of not-good-enough.
You can blame external factors like magazines and television, but the reality is, we control our own perceptions. We need to start loving our bodies, ourselves just the way we are. This does not take away that we may want to improve ourselves, but we need to be realistic on what's achievable for us individually.
In fact, someone asked me that today. Instead of my usual answer, I laughed and replied "it's not like you're a cow you know". I can not imagine anyone in their right mind would consider this person 'big' and yet this question asked so many times by young women with great bodies reflects an internal struggle and a body-image perception of not-good-enough.
You can blame external factors like magazines and television, but the reality is, we control our own perceptions. We need to start loving our bodies, ourselves just the way we are. This does not take away that we may want to improve ourselves, but we need to be realistic on what's achievable for us individually.
What's funnier still is that for many of us, we are simply unable to accept and love ourselves, until someone else starts to love us first. We seem to be our own harshest critics focusing on the parts we dislike the most. Other people don't focus on these parts, so why should you?
Begin to love your favourite body part - is it your eyes? Your hair? Your fingers? Whatever it is, start with your favourite and go from there. You'll soon find that along with a health and fitness routine, you'll begin to love more and more parts.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Feeling Alive
Emotional roller coasters have many feelings mixed in. From happiness, to anger and sadness to everything in between, they allow us to pinch and tell ourselves that we are alive.
I want to live every day with such life and adventure that if it turns out to be my last, then I will have no regrets. I want to have many intense and fabulous memories that I will have a hard time remembering which memory was the best because the truth is - they were all memorable for different reasons. And even if there are memories with equal deep contrast of sadness and hurt, I want to remember them for what they taught me.
Someone (whether you believe that to be God or my mother) gave me a body and a mind and I do not intend to waste it. I will not wonder what might have been and I will live life to the best of my ability. Afterall, how many chances do I really have at living it to the fullest? This is my chance. I'm not going to blow it.
You decide how you want to live yours.
I want to live every day with such life and adventure that if it turns out to be my last, then I will have no regrets. I want to have many intense and fabulous memories that I will have a hard time remembering which memory was the best because the truth is - they were all memorable for different reasons. And even if there are memories with equal deep contrast of sadness and hurt, I want to remember them for what they taught me.
Someone (whether you believe that to be God or my mother) gave me a body and a mind and I do not intend to waste it. I will not wonder what might have been and I will live life to the best of my ability. Afterall, how many chances do I really have at living it to the fullest? This is my chance. I'm not going to blow it.
You decide how you want to live yours.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Music to study by
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu4R0OX4Flo
I have heard this song at least 50 times in the last few days/weeks. I keep replaying it over and over again as I've been trying to study and I haven't bored of it yet. In fact, I wish I could put it on repeat.
Music helps me stay in the moment. It somehow helps me concentrate better on things like semitendonosis though I don't understand why. It's as if while I study, I need to engage additional senses to help me memorize. However, this song is not so distracting, that instead of learning, I'm just listening to the song. Call it background music (but far more than that).
As I wrote my exam earlier today and spilled out my brain with those silly facts and figures that I will never remember again, I think I almost heard this song somewhere in my subconscious.
I'm thrilled to now have the exam past, and be able to listen again to this song, though louder and I feel it surrounding me. It takes me to a peaceful place where all I'm required to do is simply be. All I need now is a coffee to savour, and I'm good.
Are you at peace?
I have heard this song at least 50 times in the last few days/weeks. I keep replaying it over and over again as I've been trying to study and I haven't bored of it yet. In fact, I wish I could put it on repeat.
Music helps me stay in the moment. It somehow helps me concentrate better on things like semitendonosis though I don't understand why. It's as if while I study, I need to engage additional senses to help me memorize. However, this song is not so distracting, that instead of learning, I'm just listening to the song. Call it background music (but far more than that).
As I wrote my exam earlier today and spilled out my brain with those silly facts and figures that I will never remember again, I think I almost heard this song somewhere in my subconscious.
I'm thrilled to now have the exam past, and be able to listen again to this song, though louder and I feel it surrounding me. It takes me to a peaceful place where all I'm required to do is simply be. All I need now is a coffee to savour, and I'm good.
Are you at peace?
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Memories are made of feelings
They say that the things you remember are the events and moments with vivid, strong emotions attached. Okay, I'm going to be black and white here - these vivid emotions tend to be either extremely positive or negative. For instance, many people remember assassinations, 9/11 etc. They also remember weddings, births, graduation, etc. In fact, the list goes on and on.
However, I'll take it one step further to say that I think it's not only the vivid, big, over-the-top memories that stick, but also the smaller ones. They add up!
I believe we need to ensure we have an incredibly rich store of positive memories to draw upon and remember, or else we might think on our deathbeds that we did not enjoy our lives. And that would be such a shame. I think if we begin with all the smaller positive memories, when the big ones come along, they become that much more important, that much more vivid, and then that much more memorable.
I will start small - we all have to start somewhere. I need to savour at least 1 positive memory every single day. By making that conscious decision to savour and relive something that day, it helps me remind and reward myself with positive feelings that seem to flow into the following day. And there are lots of positive things that happen every day if you are open to seeing them.
I did not have a bad day today. However, it started a little different from most Saturdays. Today we had a snowstorm and when I got to the fitness class I teach, I started with about 5 people. I was getting ready to start, and one of the 5 people said, "Don't worry, I'm sure more people will come" and I said, "I'm not worried. No matter how many people show up, we're going to have a good time, just the few of us." 23 more people showed up. Now, 28 is much fewer than the typical 40+ Saturday class, however for a snowstorm class, I was pretty happy. Plus, at the end, a new participant said to me, "That was INCREDIBLE! I really enjoyed that!"
Bingo. Positive memory. Happy pat on the back. And it's only 10:30am. I wonder how many more positive things will happen over the course of the day!
Remember to savour your memories and make more positive ones. I can't think of a better way to be rich, than to be rich with happiness.
However, I'll take it one step further to say that I think it's not only the vivid, big, over-the-top memories that stick, but also the smaller ones. They add up!
I believe we need to ensure we have an incredibly rich store of positive memories to draw upon and remember, or else we might think on our deathbeds that we did not enjoy our lives. And that would be such a shame. I think if we begin with all the smaller positive memories, when the big ones come along, they become that much more important, that much more vivid, and then that much more memorable.
I will start small - we all have to start somewhere. I need to savour at least 1 positive memory every single day. By making that conscious decision to savour and relive something that day, it helps me remind and reward myself with positive feelings that seem to flow into the following day. And there are lots of positive things that happen every day if you are open to seeing them.
I did not have a bad day today. However, it started a little different from most Saturdays. Today we had a snowstorm and when I got to the fitness class I teach, I started with about 5 people. I was getting ready to start, and one of the 5 people said, "Don't worry, I'm sure more people will come" and I said, "I'm not worried. No matter how many people show up, we're going to have a good time, just the few of us." 23 more people showed up. Now, 28 is much fewer than the typical 40+ Saturday class, however for a snowstorm class, I was pretty happy. Plus, at the end, a new participant said to me, "That was INCREDIBLE! I really enjoyed that!"
Bingo. Positive memory. Happy pat on the back. And it's only 10:30am. I wonder how many more positive things will happen over the course of the day!
Remember to savour your memories and make more positive ones. I can't think of a better way to be rich, than to be rich with happiness.
Finding excuses
It amazes me. I'm finding any and all excuses not to study. If only I could use this energy and actually use it to study with, then I'd be in good shape.
Alas, here I am, and I might as well explain myself.
I don't want to study because the material I'm studying is not important to me. I don't want to say the material is not important, because obviously, it's important to some people, and it's a requirement that I take this course/exam. However, from my point of view, the material I'm memorizing is not important to me. Add to the fact that I have not taken an exam in 15 years. And I didn't enjoy school when I had to go?
Hmmm. That sounds like a recipe for delay tactics.
I'm trying to memorize a bunch of numbers, and names. Think latin names and you'll get the picture. I have always enjoyed understanding how things work, but straight memorization just doesn't appeal to me because I've always had trouble with it (read: weakness). So what can I do? I have no choice but to try and memorize this stuff, but it sure as heck isn't fun.
This reminds me of my previous post and why it is so important to do the things you love. Otherwise, you'll always be finding excuses not to do what you're supposed to be doing (like I am now).
Here's a good one.... one of the hamstring muscles is called "Semitendinosus". I now remember that as "Semi-Tend-To-Know-This".
Here's another one... ATP, Fast G, Slow G, Fat - 1, 2, 38, 100 - 1-10, 10-2, 2+ x2
Nevermind... I think you see my pain now...
Alas, here I am, and I might as well explain myself.
I don't want to study because the material I'm studying is not important to me. I don't want to say the material is not important, because obviously, it's important to some people, and it's a requirement that I take this course/exam. However, from my point of view, the material I'm memorizing is not important to me. Add to the fact that I have not taken an exam in 15 years. And I didn't enjoy school when I had to go?
Hmmm. That sounds like a recipe for delay tactics.
I'm trying to memorize a bunch of numbers, and names. Think latin names and you'll get the picture. I have always enjoyed understanding how things work, but straight memorization just doesn't appeal to me because I've always had trouble with it (read: weakness). So what can I do? I have no choice but to try and memorize this stuff, but it sure as heck isn't fun.
This reminds me of my previous post and why it is so important to do the things you love. Otherwise, you'll always be finding excuses not to do what you're supposed to be doing (like I am now).
Here's a good one.... one of the hamstring muscles is called "Semitendinosus". I now remember that as "Semi-Tend-To-Know-This".
Here's another one... ATP, Fast G, Slow G, Fat - 1, 2, 38, 100 - 1-10, 10-2, 2+ x2
Nevermind... I think you see my pain now...
How do you live your life?
Like many of us, do you feel like you're running from one task to another with no time for anything else in between? Do you feel extremely busy and find the phrase "I don't have any time for..." has already become a staple?
I don't imagine life gets any less busy. It's how we perceive it. If we begin to spend more time on the things that really count - the things that you really want to do, we magically find that being busy seems to lose it's significance. When we're doing what we already love to do, we would never describe that as "busy" with a shrug of our shoulders, would we?
When we're in the moment, time slows almost to a standstill - we see, hear, and feel all the emotions. The moment could be as simple as going to a basketball game, and being dazzled by the experience. We watch with our eyes, everything from the players, to the coaches, to the fans. We listen to the sounds of the shoes squeaking, the fans cheering, the hushed silence before an important play. We feel our heartbeat. We get onto our feet to engage in a wave through the stadium. We've forgotten everything else - we are not thinking about issues at work, home, school - we're focusing on a game, and we're enjoying that moment to the fullest.
When was the last time you were in the moment and how can you be present more often? How can you turn every day moments into something more?
I'll share a really quick one for you. I don't always do this, but when I remember, it feels incredible. After I've paid for my coffee, my first taste is savoured. I am not walking, I am not talking. I'm not focusing on anything except the first sip. Quite literally, my world stops for a few seconds as I appreciate the aroma and taste.
We all need to find more moments to enjoy.
I don't imagine life gets any less busy. It's how we perceive it. If we begin to spend more time on the things that really count - the things that you really want to do, we magically find that being busy seems to lose it's significance. When we're doing what we already love to do, we would never describe that as "busy" with a shrug of our shoulders, would we?
When we're in the moment, time slows almost to a standstill - we see, hear, and feel all the emotions. The moment could be as simple as going to a basketball game, and being dazzled by the experience. We watch with our eyes, everything from the players, to the coaches, to the fans. We listen to the sounds of the shoes squeaking, the fans cheering, the hushed silence before an important play. We feel our heartbeat. We get onto our feet to engage in a wave through the stadium. We've forgotten everything else - we are not thinking about issues at work, home, school - we're focusing on a game, and we're enjoying that moment to the fullest.
When was the last time you were in the moment and how can you be present more often? How can you turn every day moments into something more?
I'll share a really quick one for you. I don't always do this, but when I remember, it feels incredible. After I've paid for my coffee, my first taste is savoured. I am not walking, I am not talking. I'm not focusing on anything except the first sip. Quite literally, my world stops for a few seconds as I appreciate the aroma and taste.
We all need to find more moments to enjoy.
Monday, February 25, 2008
I read a book
I love books, and it's been so long since I've had a chance to read. I was at my father-in-law's house for dinner, when I found an interesting book on his coffee table. It was "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon.
It's about a 15 year old boy with Asperger's Syndrome who finds a neighbour's dog killed with a pitchfork. It's narrated from the boy's perspective and takes you on his journey as he tries to solve the murder-mystery of who killed Wellington the dog.
As you step into this narrative and read about the boy's quirks, it reminds me of each of our individual quirks. Some things that are quite obvious for strangers to note, may be less obvious for us since we're too close to the situation. It is with this knowledge that I think we sometimes need to rely on others to help us on our journey of self-discovery.
I wonder if I also have those quirks that needs somebody to help me smash away and start to live life without that baggage weighing me down. Who am I kidding? Of course I've got the baggage! On the bright side, I think I've donated a bunch of old baggage already....
P.S. I also really enjoyed taking the time to read this entertaining book.
It's about a 15 year old boy with Asperger's Syndrome who finds a neighbour's dog killed with a pitchfork. It's narrated from the boy's perspective and takes you on his journey as he tries to solve the murder-mystery of who killed Wellington the dog.
As you step into this narrative and read about the boy's quirks, it reminds me of each of our individual quirks. Some things that are quite obvious for strangers to note, may be less obvious for us since we're too close to the situation. It is with this knowledge that I think we sometimes need to rely on others to help us on our journey of self-discovery.
I wonder if I also have those quirks that needs somebody to help me smash away and start to live life without that baggage weighing me down. Who am I kidding? Of course I've got the baggage! On the bright side, I think I've donated a bunch of old baggage already....
P.S. I also really enjoyed taking the time to read this entertaining book.
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Someone did a fabulous video of Lord of the Rings set to this song back in December of 2006 and put it on YouTube. When I first saw this video, I was drawn by how my senses were transformed by the sight and sounds and found myself thoroughly appreciating and enjoying the song AND the movie more than the sum of the parts. Considering how much I already like the song, and how much I already like the movie, I was impressed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUmYNNPbF4
The first few phrases of the song goes like this...
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.
I don't normally write or talk about love. I heard from a good friend who has yet to meet his mate. He told me of someone he's dating who he claims is far richer, and more beautiful than his class and that nothing would ever work out for them. I tried to tell him his fabulous personality is far more important than money and looks to some people and perhaps she was one of those people. He claims that one of these days she will stop pitying him and tell him "it's not you, it's me". He dates her, though he believes there's no future. Yet, how could he possibly have a future with her if he himself does not believe he's worthy of her?
He needs to hear this song. He needs to let go. He needs to commit to himself in all his glory, and believe in himself - all his strengths and all his positive traits. He needs to love himself so that others can love him to the same degree or more.
I wish that he could love fearlessly for I believe he will find love when he can love himself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUmYNNPbF4
The first few phrases of the song goes like this...
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.
I don't normally write or talk about love. I heard from a good friend who has yet to meet his mate. He told me of someone he's dating who he claims is far richer, and more beautiful than his class and that nothing would ever work out for them. I tried to tell him his fabulous personality is far more important than money and looks to some people and perhaps she was one of those people. He claims that one of these days she will stop pitying him and tell him "it's not you, it's me". He dates her, though he believes there's no future. Yet, how could he possibly have a future with her if he himself does not believe he's worthy of her?
He needs to hear this song. He needs to let go. He needs to commit to himself in all his glory, and believe in himself - all his strengths and all his positive traits. He needs to love himself so that others can love him to the same degree or more.
I wish that he could love fearlessly for I believe he will find love when he can love himself.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Purpose
I'm still not sure what we're here for.
I'm not sure that we need a reason.
Sometimes I think it is only about experiencing life and perhaps there need not be any greater purpose, unless we choose to make that happen.
Sometimes, I have thoughts that I just can't get down in writing.
Sometimes, I should just go to sleep and allow my dreams to decipher all the thoughts.
I'm not sure that we need a reason.
Sometimes I think it is only about experiencing life and perhaps there need not be any greater purpose, unless we choose to make that happen.
Sometimes, I have thoughts that I just can't get down in writing.
Sometimes, I should just go to sleep and allow my dreams to decipher all the thoughts.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Reconnecting over Coffee
I had coffee with someone last week who I haven't seen in years. I knew him from work. He was an extremely technical person and I was not. He helped me decipher and understand the components of the products and services and translate those messages into marketing messages. We also got along on a personal level and had interesting chats about non-work related things.
To make a long story short, he is currently now on Long Term Disability and has had a few difficult years.
By fluke, we reconnected last week over coffee and chatted. We shared stories and I was saddened to see just how much of his spirit had been lost in those few short years since I last saw him. What I said to him was:
"Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Unfortunately for you, you've lost what was once your strength, and now as you attempt to live your life in a meaningful way, you continue to look to look at what you're unable to do. Things that you used to be able to do in your sleep are now extremely difficult, and sometimes, perhaps even impossible. You need to mourn that loss, and when you're done, you need to re-evaluate who you are today. What are your strengths and weaknesses now? Go to your strength, and find what you are able to do well now. Take your new-found experiences and discover new strengths that you didn't have before, and that others value. I believe the secret to success and happiness is doing what you enjoy and are good at - no matter where you are in life."
His lightbulb went off and he starts to tell me about some conversations he's had with others about some other things he might be able to do. His face lights up as he realizes that there are things he can do, and there are other ways to do them.
Prior to meeting for coffee, he told his wife that I was someone who always chatted with him about other 'stuff' and had a spirit that most others at the company did not have. I guess when he told me that, it just meant to me that I had an impact on his life years before, and I continue to have an impact on his life now. I feel incredibly joyful about this and can't describe the difference it made in my day.
I guess that's why I always welcome a coffee - I'm never sure what will happen and who's life may change. Many times, it's mine that gets changed for the better.
Is there someone you've been thinking about reconnecting with? Just do it. You just never know what might happen.
To make a long story short, he is currently now on Long Term Disability and has had a few difficult years.
By fluke, we reconnected last week over coffee and chatted. We shared stories and I was saddened to see just how much of his spirit had been lost in those few short years since I last saw him. What I said to him was:
"Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Unfortunately for you, you've lost what was once your strength, and now as you attempt to live your life in a meaningful way, you continue to look to look at what you're unable to do. Things that you used to be able to do in your sleep are now extremely difficult, and sometimes, perhaps even impossible. You need to mourn that loss, and when you're done, you need to re-evaluate who you are today. What are your strengths and weaknesses now? Go to your strength, and find what you are able to do well now. Take your new-found experiences and discover new strengths that you didn't have before, and that others value. I believe the secret to success and happiness is doing what you enjoy and are good at - no matter where you are in life."
His lightbulb went off and he starts to tell me about some conversations he's had with others about some other things he might be able to do. His face lights up as he realizes that there are things he can do, and there are other ways to do them.
Prior to meeting for coffee, he told his wife that I was someone who always chatted with him about other 'stuff' and had a spirit that most others at the company did not have. I guess when he told me that, it just meant to me that I had an impact on his life years before, and I continue to have an impact on his life now. I feel incredibly joyful about this and can't describe the difference it made in my day.
I guess that's why I always welcome a coffee - I'm never sure what will happen and who's life may change. Many times, it's mine that gets changed for the better.
Is there someone you've been thinking about reconnecting with? Just do it. You just never know what might happen.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Running to Stand Still
Sometimes, it feels just like that U2 song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsoYV0RS2d8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsoYV0RS2d8&feature=related
And I wonder if we are running, and not getting anywhere, perhaps we should just enjoy the run while we're doing it? That way, if we get somewhere, GREAT. If not, at least we enjoyed the ride.
Enjoy the sounds
Enjoy the sights
Enjoy the taste
Enjoy the feel
Enjoy the ride
Enjoy the sounds
Enjoy the sights
Enjoy the taste
Enjoy the feel
Enjoy the ride
Success in workplace washrooms
Go ahead. Laugh.
Well, this may be difficult to understand for the men, but I'm going to have fun writing it anyway!
I finished up one meeting with Max (see Oct 31st post for more about Max), and we were supposed to meet in his office for another meeting. He said "I'll meet you there". He disappeared, and didn't show up for quite a while. Luckily for me, I had my laptop with me, and continued to work while I waited. When he finally showed up, he indicated that he got stuck in a conversation with someone else while taking a washroom break. I told him that women were at an extreme disadvantage in this company/organization because of this. He looked at me with disbelief and asked me to explain it.
I work for a male dominated industry/company/organization. Many men in the organization have trouble with women in certain male-dominated roles, and the women have to prove themselves a touch more than the men. Many a decision has been made while in the washroom (I assume while hand-washing or when the business is done). And it is difficult as a woman to compete at this level. How do you informally get the same informal advantages? It's nearly impossible. The benefits of the washroom include being able to nail down someone you've been trying to reach, getting answers, getting buy-in and the general networking is priceless.
When Max asked me if women chatted in the washroom, I laughed. 1) Generally, we're talking about other things, 2) And male-dominated companies means the decision-makers are in the other washroom.
Max just doesn't begin to understand.
I'll just have to think about how I can turn this into an advantage.
Well, this may be difficult to understand for the men, but I'm going to have fun writing it anyway!
I finished up one meeting with Max (see Oct 31st post for more about Max), and we were supposed to meet in his office for another meeting. He said "I'll meet you there". He disappeared, and didn't show up for quite a while. Luckily for me, I had my laptop with me, and continued to work while I waited. When he finally showed up, he indicated that he got stuck in a conversation with someone else while taking a washroom break. I told him that women were at an extreme disadvantage in this company/organization because of this. He looked at me with disbelief and asked me to explain it.
I work for a male dominated industry/company/organization. Many men in the organization have trouble with women in certain male-dominated roles, and the women have to prove themselves a touch more than the men. Many a decision has been made while in the washroom (I assume while hand-washing or when the business is done). And it is difficult as a woman to compete at this level. How do you informally get the same informal advantages? It's nearly impossible. The benefits of the washroom include being able to nail down someone you've been trying to reach, getting answers, getting buy-in and the general networking is priceless.
When Max asked me if women chatted in the washroom, I laughed. 1) Generally, we're talking about other things, 2) And male-dominated companies means the decision-makers are in the other washroom.
Max just doesn't begin to understand.
I'll just have to think about how I can turn this into an advantage.
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