It must be cultural or something. I really don't understand why some people only look at the negative side of things.
Here's an example. The discussion was regarding selling the existing home, and buying a condominium. There are many valid reasons for considering this move, and this has been discussed by the couple for well over 10 years already. In the past 10 years, I continue to hear excuses about why the move hasn't happened yet, however, I can tell in the discussion, they really are moving further along in the process. For instance, I've been part of discussions regarding painting their current home. (For background, I've painted 2 full houses top to bottom in less time than they've spent discussing their potential move.) What I heard them say was that painting was difficult and would be hard for them to do. This would be (I believe) the 3rd time I've offered to paint their house (for free). My only rule is that they can not be in the house when I am painting. They move as much as they can, and leave the rest, and I will take care of it.
Doesn't that sound like a very reasonable proposition? Especially if you've seen my painting skills - pretty darn good quality at that price (and fast too!). But alas, they are not sold. Somehow even after I gave them the best offer I could (I go buy the paint for you, I move the furniture for you, I provide the stuff to paint with, I clean up for you, - I take all the hassles out and all you have to do is pay for the paint and they're still not convinced. Do they realize it doesn't get any better than this, if they seriously want their home painted? This is what I heard next: "you know, it's really hard to sell and buy a home - if you sell first, and then can't find one to buy, you're screwed. If you buy first, and then can't sell yours, you're screwed again. Maybe we shouldn't even move."
Please help me understand people like this. What do they really want? To just find excuses to complain about something?!!
If you're wondering - of course it's family.
Here's an example. The discussion was regarding selling the existing home, and buying a condominium. There are many valid reasons for considering this move, and this has been discussed by the couple for well over 10 years already. In the past 10 years, I continue to hear excuses about why the move hasn't happened yet, however, I can tell in the discussion, they really are moving further along in the process. For instance, I've been part of discussions regarding painting their current home. (For background, I've painted 2 full houses top to bottom in less time than they've spent discussing their potential move.) What I heard them say was that painting was difficult and would be hard for them to do. This would be (I believe) the 3rd time I've offered to paint their house (for free). My only rule is that they can not be in the house when I am painting. They move as much as they can, and leave the rest, and I will take care of it.
Doesn't that sound like a very reasonable proposition? Especially if you've seen my painting skills - pretty darn good quality at that price (and fast too!). But alas, they are not sold. Somehow even after I gave them the best offer I could (I go buy the paint for you, I move the furniture for you, I provide the stuff to paint with, I clean up for you, - I take all the hassles out and all you have to do is pay for the paint and they're still not convinced. Do they realize it doesn't get any better than this, if they seriously want their home painted? This is what I heard next: "you know, it's really hard to sell and buy a home - if you sell first, and then can't find one to buy, you're screwed. If you buy first, and then can't sell yours, you're screwed again. Maybe we shouldn't even move."
Please help me understand people like this. What do they really want? To just find excuses to complain about something?!!
If you're wondering - of course it's family.
1 comment:
Of course we all know people like this. And I guess, I can help you understand them at least a little better - when they complain - they don't want solutions from you, they want understanding. They want to be heard and paid attention to. If you paint their house, you rob them from a topic of conversation, from a mutual "problem solving".
Of course they could pick up a better topic for conversation, but this is their way of getting your attention - just like the kids do.
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