We all have times of insecurity when we're not feeling as confident as we normally feel. And whether that is due to work, home, school and/or stress, the good thing is we eventually get over it.
Sometimes, we get help by our friends, and other times complete strangers will somehow say something that will give you that boost of confidence we all need once in a while. I met a complete stranger today who took the time to understand me. The most amazing part was that she helped remind me of who I am, my strengths and how in the right environment, these strengths are extremely valuable.
Of course none of this is a surprise to me - I knew this already in the back of my mind. However, after living in the the day-to-day grind of an environment that is the opposite of my strengths can take a heavy toll. I began to forget and lose sight of how much I am valued - just not where I was.
She likely does not have any idea of the impact she had on me today. She freely gave to me something that was extremely valuable to me - a boost of confidence - and I welcomed it. And in the process, she did not think twice about what she gave and got on with her day. How's that for making an impact on someone?
I have been making it a habit - say something positive to people everyday. Make it a habit, pass it on, and you'll get it back in spades.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Creative thinking makes me smile
How do you come up with great ideas? I don't know about you, but it tends to be when I least expect it. In fact, today, I was noodling 2 unrelated thoughts, both of which I thought I would try out. As I noodled them, separately, all of a sudden, I put 1 plus 1 and got more than 2. Dang. What a stinkin' great idea!
Now if only I could better control when I have those lightbulb ideas going off!
Now if only I could better control when I have those lightbulb ideas going off!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Is your gut right or wrong?
My general feeling when meeting people tends to be overwhelmingly either 1) I like them, or 2) I'm neutral towards them. A very small number ends up being 3) My tail is twitching and there's something about them that doesn't jive with me. Sometimes, they get moved from one bucket to another, but rarely, (if ever?) would anyone go from 1 to 3 or vice versa. And typically, people who start in the 3rd bucket, usually never move out of it.
I met someone - we'll call him Max. He fell immediately into the 3rd bucket, and I couldn't place exactly what he said or did that made my tail twitch. I CONSCIOUSLY decided that under the circumstances we were in, that I would make an extra effort to move him into the 2nd bucket. Perhaps I had an inaccurate perception of him. Perhaps I was judging a book too much by it's cover (sleazy). Perhaps there was a negative stereotype that made me jump to conclusions; whatever the reasoning, I set aside my gut feeling.
Nope. My gut was right. In the past 12 months, I've gotten more details and a clearer understanding of the qualities and specifics of Max that support my initial judgement. Something subconscious and in my brain was able to process countless details and come up with a judgement (3rd bucket - he's not to be trusted) that my conscious side could not piece together. Since then, each and every one of my trusted allies and friends agree and make the same conclusion. And what is the learning here? Sometimes, you need to go with your gut. You do not always have to 'explain it'. I should have trusted my instincts, and although I do not regret giving him a chance, I should not nearly have been as patient and understanding as I have been all these months. Next time, I think I need to provide a time-limit for promotions from the 3rd bucket to the 2nd bucket.
So - is my gut right or wrong? It depends (on the situation) and it really doesn't matter one way or another. We just need to have the confidence to trust and believe in ourselves to the best of our ability and know at the end of the day, it's okay to be right or wrong.
I met someone - we'll call him Max. He fell immediately into the 3rd bucket, and I couldn't place exactly what he said or did that made my tail twitch. I CONSCIOUSLY decided that under the circumstances we were in, that I would make an extra effort to move him into the 2nd bucket. Perhaps I had an inaccurate perception of him. Perhaps I was judging a book too much by it's cover (sleazy). Perhaps there was a negative stereotype that made me jump to conclusions; whatever the reasoning, I set aside my gut feeling.
Nope. My gut was right. In the past 12 months, I've gotten more details and a clearer understanding of the qualities and specifics of Max that support my initial judgement. Something subconscious and in my brain was able to process countless details and come up with a judgement (3rd bucket - he's not to be trusted) that my conscious side could not piece together. Since then, each and every one of my trusted allies and friends agree and make the same conclusion. And what is the learning here? Sometimes, you need to go with your gut. You do not always have to 'explain it'. I should have trusted my instincts, and although I do not regret giving him a chance, I should not nearly have been as patient and understanding as I have been all these months. Next time, I think I need to provide a time-limit for promotions from the 3rd bucket to the 2nd bucket.
So - is my gut right or wrong? It depends (on the situation) and it really doesn't matter one way or another. We just need to have the confidence to trust and believe in ourselves to the best of our ability and know at the end of the day, it's okay to be right or wrong.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
How I got free stuff
A few months ago, I was really desperate. I started telling co-workers (and anyone else who would listen) that I needed a way to get free advertising. Many laughed at me. Many told me you can't get advertising for free.
Today, I shared my success with a co-worker and told him how I got it for free. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I got free advertising worth gazillions - no, nothing like that. However, I did get something, and something is more than what many of my co-workers thought was possible when I first posed the question. My success (our success?) was a based on a shift in thinking. Although I called it 'Free', what I meant was "at no dollar cost to me or my budget". What I've been able to do, was get people to think creatively about how it just may be possible. My original confidence that this was possible, allowed them to remove the barriers, and help come up with some plans. I ended up successful at getting stuff for "free".
What other impossible feats are you trying to accomplish and are they really impossible?
Today, I shared my success with a co-worker and told him how I got it for free. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I got free advertising worth gazillions - no, nothing like that. However, I did get something, and something is more than what many of my co-workers thought was possible when I first posed the question. My success (our success?) was a based on a shift in thinking. Although I called it 'Free', what I meant was "at no dollar cost to me or my budget". What I've been able to do, was get people to think creatively about how it just may be possible. My original confidence that this was possible, allowed them to remove the barriers, and help come up with some plans. I ended up successful at getting stuff for "free".
What other impossible feats are you trying to accomplish and are they really impossible?
Be unreasonable
It has been a long few weeks since the last time I wrote, and I was a little embarrassed and ashamed. Afterall, my last post was about finding time and how we all complain we don't have enough time, and my first thought at my return was - "wow, I've been busy and haven't had time to write". DOH! Am I happy with what I've spent my time on? Generally - a resounding YES. It has only been the last 2 days that I've been feeling an itch. That itch of "am I doing what I want to be doing? Am I happy spending the time doing those things?". And of course, what can I say except that the last 2 days have been difficult. I have not been happy with what I've been doing, and I've had to deal with some bureaucratic bull in the past 48 hours.
Why do we accept this as par for the course? I read a quote that I really liked. It said reasonable people live in the world and accept it as is, while unreasonable people change it. Are you ready to change it? Are you ready to change *your* world? I already feel better and at peace. I'm continuing to change my world, and I'm enjoying it the entire way through.
Why do we accept this as par for the course? I read a quote that I really liked. It said reasonable people live in the world and accept it as is, while unreasonable people change it. Are you ready to change it? Are you ready to change *your* world? I already feel better and at peace. I'm continuing to change my world, and I'm enjoying it the entire way through.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Time after time
"I don't have any time."
I hear this a lot. Heck, I probably say it a lot too. Somehow, someway, I find myself always taking on multiple balls to juggle, most of which are fairly important and requires intense increments of time. Yet, I smile when I take the moment to reflect on this because I realize I do this to myself. I do this on purpose! And even better, it makes me happy.
Huh? I choose to be in these situations taking on multiple roles and responsibilities packing my hours because if I didn't, I'd probably be bored. More importantly, I seem better at managing multiple balls than I am at managing one. There's something about the other balls, that allows the learnings I gain from one to be used to help another. I think it's like how we can figure things out when we're not thinking about it. Or, how we seem to get clues from our dreams. My multiple balls allows me to subconsciously figure out solutions that I would not be able to figure out if I only had one ball in the air. Now, how cool is that?
Back to the original question - how do you find time?
Although I've committed far more hours lately to my multiple projects, I still seem to be relatively sane, happy, and capable. The question should not be "how do you find time" but "are you happy spending your hours in the activities you do". You'll find that if the answer is "yes", time does not seem to be a problem.
I hear this a lot. Heck, I probably say it a lot too. Somehow, someway, I find myself always taking on multiple balls to juggle, most of which are fairly important and requires intense increments of time. Yet, I smile when I take the moment to reflect on this because I realize I do this to myself. I do this on purpose! And even better, it makes me happy.
Huh? I choose to be in these situations taking on multiple roles and responsibilities packing my hours because if I didn't, I'd probably be bored. More importantly, I seem better at managing multiple balls than I am at managing one. There's something about the other balls, that allows the learnings I gain from one to be used to help another. I think it's like how we can figure things out when we're not thinking about it. Or, how we seem to get clues from our dreams. My multiple balls allows me to subconsciously figure out solutions that I would not be able to figure out if I only had one ball in the air. Now, how cool is that?
Back to the original question - how do you find time?
Although I've committed far more hours lately to my multiple projects, I still seem to be relatively sane, happy, and capable. The question should not be "how do you find time" but "are you happy spending your hours in the activities you do". You'll find that if the answer is "yes", time does not seem to be a problem.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Slowing down to smell the roses
I said an extra special Thank You to a co-worker yesterday.
I called her and when I didn't reach her, I left her a voicemail telling her that I really appreciated all the effort she put into getting something done for me as quickly as she did.
She sent me a quick email saying "You're welcome". She then went on to dismiss what she did by saying essentially that it was just her job and it was "all in a day's work".
I could not let her do this to herself. Never ever underestimate your abilities or your impact to someone else! I reminded her that I knew everyone has a lot on the go, and that the extra effort she mustered up to get things done was extremely appreciated. Yes, it is her job, but she could just as easily have given me many reasons why she couldn't get it done.
You know what happened? I think I made her day. Plus, I made my day too. I can't explain why I felt so great about it - perhaps it was simply in seeing the impact I was making on her mood and then the ensuing extra effort she put into the rest of the day. It was fabulous. I felt as though I made a difference. We need to do that every day.
Let's compliment 2 people every day of our lives. Think about how great you'll make them feel, and how great you'll feel too.
Let me start: Thank you for the taking the time to read my post! What do you think? Agree, Disagree? Any suggestions for making someone's day?
I called her and when I didn't reach her, I left her a voicemail telling her that I really appreciated all the effort she put into getting something done for me as quickly as she did.
She sent me a quick email saying "You're welcome". She then went on to dismiss what she did by saying essentially that it was just her job and it was "all in a day's work".
I could not let her do this to herself. Never ever underestimate your abilities or your impact to someone else! I reminded her that I knew everyone has a lot on the go, and that the extra effort she mustered up to get things done was extremely appreciated. Yes, it is her job, but she could just as easily have given me many reasons why she couldn't get it done.
You know what happened? I think I made her day. Plus, I made my day too. I can't explain why I felt so great about it - perhaps it was simply in seeing the impact I was making on her mood and then the ensuing extra effort she put into the rest of the day. It was fabulous. I felt as though I made a difference. We need to do that every day.
Let's compliment 2 people every day of our lives. Think about how great you'll make them feel, and how great you'll feel too.
Let me start: Thank you for the taking the time to read my post! What do you think? Agree, Disagree? Any suggestions for making someone's day?
I want a box of crayons
Do you remember when
...you believed just about anything was possible?
...it was okay to colour a cow any colour of the rainbow?
...it was okay to have a wild imagination?
I tell myself that all the adults in my son's life will teach him about rules and how to follow them. Heck - I encourage a lot of rule following too. However, I also actively encourage his creativity (and mine) by engaging in the silliness and imagination that will hopefully help him retain this skill well into adulthood.
I see my peers having so much difficulty letting go of the rules - instead, they focus on the details of the what, where, why and how that would prevent success. If we focus on failure and how it won't work - how will we figure out the new formula for success? It is only in bending or breaking the rules, that the real creativity occurs. More often than not, we'll realize the answer was right under our noses and the only thing required to see it, was a box of crayons to jolt us into some rule-free thinking.
"Honey, let's continue drawing the adventures of Spooky-Piggy and Bungie-Man - what kind of trouble do you think they got into today?"
...you believed just about anything was possible?
...it was okay to colour a cow any colour of the rainbow?
...it was okay to have a wild imagination?
I tell myself that all the adults in my son's life will teach him about rules and how to follow them. Heck - I encourage a lot of rule following too. However, I also actively encourage his creativity (and mine) by engaging in the silliness and imagination that will hopefully help him retain this skill well into adulthood.
I see my peers having so much difficulty letting go of the rules - instead, they focus on the details of the what, where, why and how that would prevent success. If we focus on failure and how it won't work - how will we figure out the new formula for success? It is only in bending or breaking the rules, that the real creativity occurs. More often than not, we'll realize the answer was right under our noses and the only thing required to see it, was a box of crayons to jolt us into some rule-free thinking.
"Honey, let's continue drawing the adventures of Spooky-Piggy and Bungie-Man - what kind of trouble do you think they got into today?"
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Reading, Writing, Arithmetic
I took advice from someone I trusted when I really didn't know what to do. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do, and the logic seemed to be there. In hindsight, I realize everybody's thoughts and beliefs are dependent on their perceptions of the world which can have a lot to do with their particular strengths.
In this particular case, the advice I got was in high school and choosing courses. "To keep your options open, take your 3 maths and 3 sciences and then go to university and figure out what you want to do". This advice was excellent from someone who is technical - in fact, an engineer-to-be who's strengths are in the math and sciences. However, for me, this advice actually made my path take longer. I struggled with 3 math courses I had a lot of difficulty with, and in fact, just took years longer to arrive at likely the same or similar place if I had taken some other courses that had been available.
I understand now why I took 2 english courses (in addition to 3 maths and 3 sciences). I always knew why I took music (for the pure enjoyment), but I explained away english as a 'required course' to help me get accepted into university. I understand now why I feel so compelled to write and efforts to dismiss it are only met with returned and renewed efforts to write again at a later date. This 'frivolous' endeavour that is under-valued in my culture just won't go away even if I were to wish it away. Efforts to sweep it under the rug are useless and instead of using added energy to dismiss it, we should embrace it.
Thinking about something you really enjoy doing - is there a really good reason why you can't or shouldn't do it? What is really stopping you from doing what you love to do? Is it a barrier you, or your family, or society put up? Is it real or perceived? We need to stop looking at limitations, and reasons why we can't. It is only in believing that it is possible, that we begin to see that limitations are not always real. Walls are scalable. And sometimes, you can even walk around them.
I hear too many people saying "If only", "I wish I could", "I only do this because I have to". These are thoughts from people who do not believe they have a choice. Our path is in understanding what we really want, and dreaming of how to achieve it.
In this particular case, the advice I got was in high school and choosing courses. "To keep your options open, take your 3 maths and 3 sciences and then go to university and figure out what you want to do". This advice was excellent from someone who is technical - in fact, an engineer-to-be who's strengths are in the math and sciences. However, for me, this advice actually made my path take longer. I struggled with 3 math courses I had a lot of difficulty with, and in fact, just took years longer to arrive at likely the same or similar place if I had taken some other courses that had been available.
I understand now why I took 2 english courses (in addition to 3 maths and 3 sciences). I always knew why I took music (for the pure enjoyment), but I explained away english as a 'required course' to help me get accepted into university. I understand now why I feel so compelled to write and efforts to dismiss it are only met with returned and renewed efforts to write again at a later date. This 'frivolous' endeavour that is under-valued in my culture just won't go away even if I were to wish it away. Efforts to sweep it under the rug are useless and instead of using added energy to dismiss it, we should embrace it.
Thinking about something you really enjoy doing - is there a really good reason why you can't or shouldn't do it? What is really stopping you from doing what you love to do? Is it a barrier you, or your family, or society put up? Is it real or perceived? We need to stop looking at limitations, and reasons why we can't. It is only in believing that it is possible, that we begin to see that limitations are not always real. Walls are scalable. And sometimes, you can even walk around them.
I hear too many people saying "If only", "I wish I could", "I only do this because I have to". These are thoughts from people who do not believe they have a choice. Our path is in understanding what we really want, and dreaming of how to achieve it.
A day in the life of work
I'm trying to get creative. I've been put into a difficult situation where I'm feeling a touch of desperation as I try madly to figure out how to make the year. Of course time is running out. Yet I'm extremely calm, collected, and having a lot of fun talking to people to try to get some creative juices running. What's even more amusing is that the people I'm talking to do not necessarily seem to enjoy my sense of well-being. Afterall, they are on the same boat with me, and they do not understand why I'm not screaming at the top of my lungs at the unfairness of it all (as I willingly did in the past).
They are instead upset with the situation and dwell a touch too long on the issues and problems at hand.
Now when I say 'too long', what exactly does that mean? I guess what I really mean is it's too long for me. Afterall, what is the point in dwelling? Does it make me feel good? Does it help me figure out how to fix things? Does it point me in the right direction? Or does it only make me feel sorry for myself and my situation and allow me to wallow in further self-pity. If my goal is to pity myself, then I guess I'd be doing well (?!!!) - but if my goal is to find ways to make the year (irrespective of the issues that are well outside of my control), then I need to focus my energy on finding ways. It is only in focusing on the end-goal that we are able to achieve it.
If we focus on self-pity, we will achieve self-pity.
My creative juices have been running many metres per second. What's even better is I'm getting so many other fabulous ideas as I talk to others about the ideas. The ideas begin to change, and be molded and become more refined and I'm left with art-forms in the making. I watch in awe at the process and the results, and I can not help but feel enlightened.
I have found an elixer of some sort. Ask me later what it is for. I'm not quite sure yet, but it holds magic and truth that I can not deny.
They are instead upset with the situation and dwell a touch too long on the issues and problems at hand.
Now when I say 'too long', what exactly does that mean? I guess what I really mean is it's too long for me. Afterall, what is the point in dwelling? Does it make me feel good? Does it help me figure out how to fix things? Does it point me in the right direction? Or does it only make me feel sorry for myself and my situation and allow me to wallow in further self-pity. If my goal is to pity myself, then I guess I'd be doing well (?!!!) - but if my goal is to find ways to make the year (irrespective of the issues that are well outside of my control), then I need to focus my energy on finding ways. It is only in focusing on the end-goal that we are able to achieve it.
If we focus on self-pity, we will achieve self-pity.
My creative juices have been running many metres per second. What's even better is I'm getting so many other fabulous ideas as I talk to others about the ideas. The ideas begin to change, and be molded and become more refined and I'm left with art-forms in the making. I watch in awe at the process and the results, and I can not help but feel enlightened.
I have found an elixer of some sort. Ask me later what it is for. I'm not quite sure yet, but it holds magic and truth that I can not deny.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
And so it begins
It really started years ago. I can't recall when, or what, or why, but I do know that this has been a multi-year culmination of experiences and thoughts that have led me here today. As I continue to refine my thoughts and begin to form a plan, I realize I need to start writing again and so here I am on September 1st, 2007... and it all seems so right and the natural thing to do!
Can you feel my excitement? Can you feel my enthusiasm? It's as if the fog is lifting and the clarity and answers are right there in front of me. And in my old body and mind, I would have said "Why did it take so long?", while my new self embraces it and am simply thrilled and happy to simply be and know it now.
I re-read passages I wrote from 2 years ago and I am in awe as I now have answers to questions I never thought I would be able to answer. Questions such as:
"Why do I keep having the same problems over and over again?
"Why can't I seem to figure out the solution?"
"Who am I meant to be?"
"Why can't I seem to figure this out?"
Yet here I am, and I feel as though I'm seeing for the first time. Breathing for the first time. Believing for the first time. And succeeding.
I'm in awe because I am starting to answer my questions.
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