They say that the things you remember are the events and moments with vivid, strong emotions attached. Okay, I'm going to be black and white here - these vivid emotions tend to be either extremely positive or negative. For instance, many people remember assassinations, 9/11 etc. They also remember weddings, births, graduation, etc. In fact, the list goes on and on.
However, I'll take it one step further to say that I think it's not only the vivid, big, over-the-top memories that stick, but also the smaller ones. They add up!
I believe we need to ensure we have an incredibly rich store of positive memories to draw upon and remember, or else we might think on our deathbeds that we did not enjoy our lives. And that would be such a shame. I think if we begin with all the smaller positive memories, when the big ones come along, they become that much more important, that much more vivid, and then that much more memorable.
I will start small - we all have to start somewhere. I need to savour at least 1 positive memory every single day. By making that conscious decision to savour and relive something that day, it helps me remind and reward myself with positive feelings that seem to flow into the following day. And there are lots of positive things that happen every day if you are open to seeing them.
I did not have a bad day today. However, it started a little different from most Saturdays. Today we had a snowstorm and when I got to the fitness class I teach, I started with about 5 people. I was getting ready to start, and one of the 5 people said, "Don't worry, I'm sure more people will come" and I said, "I'm not worried. No matter how many people show up, we're going to have a good time, just the few of us." 23 more people showed up. Now, 28 is much fewer than the typical 40+ Saturday class, however for a snowstorm class, I was pretty happy. Plus, at the end, a new participant said to me, "That was INCREDIBLE! I really enjoyed that!"
Bingo. Positive memory. Happy pat on the back. And it's only 10:30am. I wonder how many more positive things will happen over the course of the day!
Remember to savour your memories and make more positive ones. I can't think of a better way to be rich, than to be rich with happiness.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Finding excuses
It amazes me. I'm finding any and all excuses not to study. If only I could use this energy and actually use it to study with, then I'd be in good shape.
Alas, here I am, and I might as well explain myself.
I don't want to study because the material I'm studying is not important to me. I don't want to say the material is not important, because obviously, it's important to some people, and it's a requirement that I take this course/exam. However, from my point of view, the material I'm memorizing is not important to me. Add to the fact that I have not taken an exam in 15 years. And I didn't enjoy school when I had to go?
Hmmm. That sounds like a recipe for delay tactics.
I'm trying to memorize a bunch of numbers, and names. Think latin names and you'll get the picture. I have always enjoyed understanding how things work, but straight memorization just doesn't appeal to me because I've always had trouble with it (read: weakness). So what can I do? I have no choice but to try and memorize this stuff, but it sure as heck isn't fun.
This reminds me of my previous post and why it is so important to do the things you love. Otherwise, you'll always be finding excuses not to do what you're supposed to be doing (like I am now).
Here's a good one.... one of the hamstring muscles is called "Semitendinosus". I now remember that as "Semi-Tend-To-Know-This".
Here's another one... ATP, Fast G, Slow G, Fat - 1, 2, 38, 100 - 1-10, 10-2, 2+ x2
Nevermind... I think you see my pain now...
Alas, here I am, and I might as well explain myself.
I don't want to study because the material I'm studying is not important to me. I don't want to say the material is not important, because obviously, it's important to some people, and it's a requirement that I take this course/exam. However, from my point of view, the material I'm memorizing is not important to me. Add to the fact that I have not taken an exam in 15 years. And I didn't enjoy school when I had to go?
Hmmm. That sounds like a recipe for delay tactics.
I'm trying to memorize a bunch of numbers, and names. Think latin names and you'll get the picture. I have always enjoyed understanding how things work, but straight memorization just doesn't appeal to me because I've always had trouble with it (read: weakness). So what can I do? I have no choice but to try and memorize this stuff, but it sure as heck isn't fun.
This reminds me of my previous post and why it is so important to do the things you love. Otherwise, you'll always be finding excuses not to do what you're supposed to be doing (like I am now).
Here's a good one.... one of the hamstring muscles is called "Semitendinosus". I now remember that as "Semi-Tend-To-Know-This".
Here's another one... ATP, Fast G, Slow G, Fat - 1, 2, 38, 100 - 1-10, 10-2, 2+ x2
Nevermind... I think you see my pain now...
How do you live your life?
Like many of us, do you feel like you're running from one task to another with no time for anything else in between? Do you feel extremely busy and find the phrase "I don't have any time for..." has already become a staple?
I don't imagine life gets any less busy. It's how we perceive it. If we begin to spend more time on the things that really count - the things that you really want to do, we magically find that being busy seems to lose it's significance. When we're doing what we already love to do, we would never describe that as "busy" with a shrug of our shoulders, would we?
When we're in the moment, time slows almost to a standstill - we see, hear, and feel all the emotions. The moment could be as simple as going to a basketball game, and being dazzled by the experience. We watch with our eyes, everything from the players, to the coaches, to the fans. We listen to the sounds of the shoes squeaking, the fans cheering, the hushed silence before an important play. We feel our heartbeat. We get onto our feet to engage in a wave through the stadium. We've forgotten everything else - we are not thinking about issues at work, home, school - we're focusing on a game, and we're enjoying that moment to the fullest.
When was the last time you were in the moment and how can you be present more often? How can you turn every day moments into something more?
I'll share a really quick one for you. I don't always do this, but when I remember, it feels incredible. After I've paid for my coffee, my first taste is savoured. I am not walking, I am not talking. I'm not focusing on anything except the first sip. Quite literally, my world stops for a few seconds as I appreciate the aroma and taste.
We all need to find more moments to enjoy.
I don't imagine life gets any less busy. It's how we perceive it. If we begin to spend more time on the things that really count - the things that you really want to do, we magically find that being busy seems to lose it's significance. When we're doing what we already love to do, we would never describe that as "busy" with a shrug of our shoulders, would we?
When we're in the moment, time slows almost to a standstill - we see, hear, and feel all the emotions. The moment could be as simple as going to a basketball game, and being dazzled by the experience. We watch with our eyes, everything from the players, to the coaches, to the fans. We listen to the sounds of the shoes squeaking, the fans cheering, the hushed silence before an important play. We feel our heartbeat. We get onto our feet to engage in a wave through the stadium. We've forgotten everything else - we are not thinking about issues at work, home, school - we're focusing on a game, and we're enjoying that moment to the fullest.
When was the last time you were in the moment and how can you be present more often? How can you turn every day moments into something more?
I'll share a really quick one for you. I don't always do this, but when I remember, it feels incredible. After I've paid for my coffee, my first taste is savoured. I am not walking, I am not talking. I'm not focusing on anything except the first sip. Quite literally, my world stops for a few seconds as I appreciate the aroma and taste.
We all need to find more moments to enjoy.
Monday, February 25, 2008
I read a book
I love books, and it's been so long since I've had a chance to read. I was at my father-in-law's house for dinner, when I found an interesting book on his coffee table. It was "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon.
It's about a 15 year old boy with Asperger's Syndrome who finds a neighbour's dog killed with a pitchfork. It's narrated from the boy's perspective and takes you on his journey as he tries to solve the murder-mystery of who killed Wellington the dog.
As you step into this narrative and read about the boy's quirks, it reminds me of each of our individual quirks. Some things that are quite obvious for strangers to note, may be less obvious for us since we're too close to the situation. It is with this knowledge that I think we sometimes need to rely on others to help us on our journey of self-discovery.
I wonder if I also have those quirks that needs somebody to help me smash away and start to live life without that baggage weighing me down. Who am I kidding? Of course I've got the baggage! On the bright side, I think I've donated a bunch of old baggage already....
P.S. I also really enjoyed taking the time to read this entertaining book.
It's about a 15 year old boy with Asperger's Syndrome who finds a neighbour's dog killed with a pitchfork. It's narrated from the boy's perspective and takes you on his journey as he tries to solve the murder-mystery of who killed Wellington the dog.
As you step into this narrative and read about the boy's quirks, it reminds me of each of our individual quirks. Some things that are quite obvious for strangers to note, may be less obvious for us since we're too close to the situation. It is with this knowledge that I think we sometimes need to rely on others to help us on our journey of self-discovery.
I wonder if I also have those quirks that needs somebody to help me smash away and start to live life without that baggage weighing me down. Who am I kidding? Of course I've got the baggage! On the bright side, I think I've donated a bunch of old baggage already....
P.S. I also really enjoyed taking the time to read this entertaining book.
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Someone did a fabulous video of Lord of the Rings set to this song back in December of 2006 and put it on YouTube. When I first saw this video, I was drawn by how my senses were transformed by the sight and sounds and found myself thoroughly appreciating and enjoying the song AND the movie more than the sum of the parts. Considering how much I already like the song, and how much I already like the movie, I was impressed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUmYNNPbF4
The first few phrases of the song goes like this...
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.
I don't normally write or talk about love. I heard from a good friend who has yet to meet his mate. He told me of someone he's dating who he claims is far richer, and more beautiful than his class and that nothing would ever work out for them. I tried to tell him his fabulous personality is far more important than money and looks to some people and perhaps she was one of those people. He claims that one of these days she will stop pitying him and tell him "it's not you, it's me". He dates her, though he believes there's no future. Yet, how could he possibly have a future with her if he himself does not believe he's worthy of her?
He needs to hear this song. He needs to let go. He needs to commit to himself in all his glory, and believe in himself - all his strengths and all his positive traits. He needs to love himself so that others can love him to the same degree or more.
I wish that he could love fearlessly for I believe he will find love when he can love himself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUmYNNPbF4
The first few phrases of the song goes like this...
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.
I don't normally write or talk about love. I heard from a good friend who has yet to meet his mate. He told me of someone he's dating who he claims is far richer, and more beautiful than his class and that nothing would ever work out for them. I tried to tell him his fabulous personality is far more important than money and looks to some people and perhaps she was one of those people. He claims that one of these days she will stop pitying him and tell him "it's not you, it's me". He dates her, though he believes there's no future. Yet, how could he possibly have a future with her if he himself does not believe he's worthy of her?
He needs to hear this song. He needs to let go. He needs to commit to himself in all his glory, and believe in himself - all his strengths and all his positive traits. He needs to love himself so that others can love him to the same degree or more.
I wish that he could love fearlessly for I believe he will find love when he can love himself.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Purpose
I'm still not sure what we're here for.
I'm not sure that we need a reason.
Sometimes I think it is only about experiencing life and perhaps there need not be any greater purpose, unless we choose to make that happen.
Sometimes, I have thoughts that I just can't get down in writing.
Sometimes, I should just go to sleep and allow my dreams to decipher all the thoughts.
I'm not sure that we need a reason.
Sometimes I think it is only about experiencing life and perhaps there need not be any greater purpose, unless we choose to make that happen.
Sometimes, I have thoughts that I just can't get down in writing.
Sometimes, I should just go to sleep and allow my dreams to decipher all the thoughts.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Reconnecting over Coffee
I had coffee with someone last week who I haven't seen in years. I knew him from work. He was an extremely technical person and I was not. He helped me decipher and understand the components of the products and services and translate those messages into marketing messages. We also got along on a personal level and had interesting chats about non-work related things.
To make a long story short, he is currently now on Long Term Disability and has had a few difficult years.
By fluke, we reconnected last week over coffee and chatted. We shared stories and I was saddened to see just how much of his spirit had been lost in those few short years since I last saw him. What I said to him was:
"Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Unfortunately for you, you've lost what was once your strength, and now as you attempt to live your life in a meaningful way, you continue to look to look at what you're unable to do. Things that you used to be able to do in your sleep are now extremely difficult, and sometimes, perhaps even impossible. You need to mourn that loss, and when you're done, you need to re-evaluate who you are today. What are your strengths and weaknesses now? Go to your strength, and find what you are able to do well now. Take your new-found experiences and discover new strengths that you didn't have before, and that others value. I believe the secret to success and happiness is doing what you enjoy and are good at - no matter where you are in life."
His lightbulb went off and he starts to tell me about some conversations he's had with others about some other things he might be able to do. His face lights up as he realizes that there are things he can do, and there are other ways to do them.
Prior to meeting for coffee, he told his wife that I was someone who always chatted with him about other 'stuff' and had a spirit that most others at the company did not have. I guess when he told me that, it just meant to me that I had an impact on his life years before, and I continue to have an impact on his life now. I feel incredibly joyful about this and can't describe the difference it made in my day.
I guess that's why I always welcome a coffee - I'm never sure what will happen and who's life may change. Many times, it's mine that gets changed for the better.
Is there someone you've been thinking about reconnecting with? Just do it. You just never know what might happen.
To make a long story short, he is currently now on Long Term Disability and has had a few difficult years.
By fluke, we reconnected last week over coffee and chatted. We shared stories and I was saddened to see just how much of his spirit had been lost in those few short years since I last saw him. What I said to him was:
"Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Unfortunately for you, you've lost what was once your strength, and now as you attempt to live your life in a meaningful way, you continue to look to look at what you're unable to do. Things that you used to be able to do in your sleep are now extremely difficult, and sometimes, perhaps even impossible. You need to mourn that loss, and when you're done, you need to re-evaluate who you are today. What are your strengths and weaknesses now? Go to your strength, and find what you are able to do well now. Take your new-found experiences and discover new strengths that you didn't have before, and that others value. I believe the secret to success and happiness is doing what you enjoy and are good at - no matter where you are in life."
His lightbulb went off and he starts to tell me about some conversations he's had with others about some other things he might be able to do. His face lights up as he realizes that there are things he can do, and there are other ways to do them.
Prior to meeting for coffee, he told his wife that I was someone who always chatted with him about other 'stuff' and had a spirit that most others at the company did not have. I guess when he told me that, it just meant to me that I had an impact on his life years before, and I continue to have an impact on his life now. I feel incredibly joyful about this and can't describe the difference it made in my day.
I guess that's why I always welcome a coffee - I'm never sure what will happen and who's life may change. Many times, it's mine that gets changed for the better.
Is there someone you've been thinking about reconnecting with? Just do it. You just never know what might happen.
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