Running to Stand Still

Sometimes, it feels just like that U2 song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsoYV0RS2d8&feature=related

And I wonder if we are running, and not getting anywhere, perhaps we should just enjoy the run while we're doing it? That way, if we get somewhere, GREAT. If not, at least we enjoyed the ride.

Enjoy the sounds
Enjoy the sights
Enjoy the taste
Enjoy the feel
Enjoy the ride

Success in workplace washrooms

Go ahead. Laugh.

Well, this may be difficult to understand for the men, but I'm going to have fun writing it anyway!

I finished up one meeting with Max (see Oct 31st post for more about Max), and we were supposed to meet in his office for another meeting. He said "I'll meet you there". He disappeared, and didn't show up for quite a while. Luckily for me, I had my laptop with me, and continued to work while I waited. When he finally showed up, he indicated that he got stuck in a conversation with someone else while taking a washroom break. I told him that women were at an extreme disadvantage in this company/organization because of this. He looked at me with disbelief and asked me to explain it.

I work for a male dominated industry/company/organization. Many men in the organization have trouble with women in certain male-dominated roles, and the women have to prove themselves a touch more than the men. Many a decision has been made while in the washroom (I assume while hand-washing or when the business is done). And it is difficult as a woman to compete at this level. How do you informally get the same informal advantages? It's nearly impossible. The benefits of the washroom include being able to nail down someone you've been trying to reach, getting answers, getting buy-in and the general networking is priceless.

When Max asked me if women chatted in the washroom, I laughed. 1) Generally, we're talking about other things, 2) And male-dominated companies means the decision-makers are in the other washroom.

Max just doesn't begin to understand.

I'll just have to think about how I can turn this into an advantage.

Give a boost, get a boost

We all have times of insecurity when we're not feeling as confident as we normally feel. And whether that is due to work, home, school and/or stress, the good thing is we eventually get over it.

Sometimes, we get help by our friends, and other times complete strangers will somehow say something that will give you that boost of confidence we all need once in a while. I met a complete stranger today who took the time to understand me. The most amazing part was that she helped remind me of who I am, my strengths and how in the right environment, these strengths are extremely valuable.

Of course none of this is a surprise to me - I knew this already in the back of my mind. However, after living in the the day-to-day grind of an environment that is the opposite of my strengths can take a heavy toll. I began to forget and lose sight of how much I am valued - just not where I was.

She likely does not have any idea of the impact she had on me today. She freely gave to me something that was extremely valuable to me - a boost of confidence - and I welcomed it. And in the process, she did not think twice about what she gave and got on with her day. How's that for making an impact on someone?

I have been making it a habit - say something positive to people everyday. Make it a habit, pass it on, and you'll get it back in spades.

Creative thinking makes me smile

How do you come up with great ideas? I don't know about you, but it tends to be when I least expect it. In fact, today, I was noodling 2 unrelated thoughts, both of which I thought I would try out. As I noodled them, separately, all of a sudden, I put 1 plus 1 and got more than 2. Dang. What a stinkin' great idea!

Now if only I could better control when I have those lightbulb ideas going off!

Is your gut right or wrong?

My general feeling when meeting people tends to be overwhelmingly either 1) I like them, or 2) I'm neutral towards them. A very small number ends up being 3) My tail is twitching and there's something about them that doesn't jive with me. Sometimes, they get moved from one bucket to another, but rarely, (if ever?) would anyone go from 1 to 3 or vice versa. And typically, people who start in the 3rd bucket, usually never move out of it.

I met someone - we'll call him Max. He fell immediately into the 3rd bucket, and I couldn't place exactly what he said or did that made my tail twitch. I CONSCIOUSLY decided that under the circumstances we were in, that I would make an extra effort to move him into the 2nd bucket. Perhaps I had an inaccurate perception of him. Perhaps I was judging a book too much by it's cover (sleazy). Perhaps there was a negative stereotype that made me jump to conclusions; whatever the reasoning, I set aside my gut feeling.

Nope. My gut was right. In the past 12 months, I've gotten more details and a clearer understanding of the qualities and specifics of Max that support my initial judgement. Something subconscious and in my brain was able to process countless details and come up with a judgement (3rd bucket - he's not to be trusted) that my conscious side could not piece together. Since then, each and every one of my trusted allies and friends agree and make the same conclusion. And what is the learning here? Sometimes, you need to go with your gut. You do not always have to 'explain it'. I should have trusted my instincts, and although I do not regret giving him a chance, I should not nearly have been as patient and understanding as I have been all these months. Next time, I think I need to provide a time-limit for promotions from the 3rd bucket to the 2nd bucket.

So - is my gut right or wrong? It depends (on the situation) and it really doesn't matter one way or another. We just need to have the confidence to trust and believe in ourselves to the best of our ability and know at the end of the day, it's okay to be right or wrong.

How I got free stuff

A few months ago, I was really desperate. I started telling co-workers (and anyone else who would listen) that I needed a way to get free advertising. Many laughed at me. Many told me you can't get advertising for free.

Today, I shared my success with a co-worker and told him how I got it for free. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I got free advertising worth gazillions - no, nothing like that. However, I did get something, and something is more than what many of my co-workers thought was possible when I first posed the question. My success (our success?) was a based on a shift in thinking. Although I called it 'Free', what I meant was "at no dollar cost to me or my budget". What I've been able to do, was get people to think creatively about how it just may be possible. My original confidence that this was possible, allowed them to remove the barriers, and help come up with some plans. I ended up successful at getting stuff for "free".

What other impossible feats are you trying to accomplish and are they really impossible?

Be unreasonable

It has been a long few weeks since the last time I wrote, and I was a little embarrassed and ashamed. Afterall, my last post was about finding time and how we all complain we don't have enough time, and my first thought at my return was - "wow, I've been busy and haven't had time to write". DOH! Am I happy with what I've spent my time on? Generally - a resounding YES. It has only been the last 2 days that I've been feeling an itch. That itch of "am I doing what I want to be doing? Am I happy spending the time doing those things?". And of course, what can I say except that the last 2 days have been difficult. I have not been happy with what I've been doing, and I've had to deal with some bureaucratic bull in the past 48 hours.

Why do we accept this as par for the course? I read a quote that I really liked. It said reasonable people live in the world and accept it as is, while unreasonable people change it. Are you ready to change it? Are you ready to change *your* world? I already feel better and at peace. I'm continuing to change my world, and I'm enjoying it the entire way through.