I love books, and it's been so long since I've had a chance to read. I was at my father-in-law's house for dinner, when I found an interesting book on his coffee table. It was "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon.
It's about a 15 year old boy with Asperger's Syndrome who finds a neighbour's dog killed with a pitchfork. It's narrated from the boy's perspective and takes you on his journey as he tries to solve the murder-mystery of who killed Wellington the dog.
As you step into this narrative and read about the boy's quirks, it reminds me of each of our individual quirks. Some things that are quite obvious for strangers to note, may be less obvious for us since we're too close to the situation. It is with this knowledge that I think we sometimes need to rely on others to help us on our journey of self-discovery.
I wonder if I also have those quirks that needs somebody to help me smash away and start to live life without that baggage weighing me down. Who am I kidding? Of course I've got the baggage! On the bright side, I think I've donated a bunch of old baggage already....
P.S. I also really enjoyed taking the time to read this entertaining book.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Someone did a fabulous video of Lord of the Rings set to this song back in December of 2006 and put it on YouTube. When I first saw this video, I was drawn by how my senses were transformed by the sight and sounds and found myself thoroughly appreciating and enjoying the song AND the movie more than the sum of the parts. Considering how much I already like the song, and how much I already like the movie, I was impressed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUmYNNPbF4
The first few phrases of the song goes like this...
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.
I don't normally write or talk about love. I heard from a good friend who has yet to meet his mate. He told me of someone he's dating who he claims is far richer, and more beautiful than his class and that nothing would ever work out for them. I tried to tell him his fabulous personality is far more important than money and looks to some people and perhaps she was one of those people. He claims that one of these days she will stop pitying him and tell him "it's not you, it's me". He dates her, though he believes there's no future. Yet, how could he possibly have a future with her if he himself does not believe he's worthy of her?
He needs to hear this song. He needs to let go. He needs to commit to himself in all his glory, and believe in himself - all his strengths and all his positive traits. He needs to love himself so that others can love him to the same degree or more.
I wish that he could love fearlessly for I believe he will find love when he can love himself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUmYNNPbF4
The first few phrases of the song goes like this...
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.
I don't normally write or talk about love. I heard from a good friend who has yet to meet his mate. He told me of someone he's dating who he claims is far richer, and more beautiful than his class and that nothing would ever work out for them. I tried to tell him his fabulous personality is far more important than money and looks to some people and perhaps she was one of those people. He claims that one of these days she will stop pitying him and tell him "it's not you, it's me". He dates her, though he believes there's no future. Yet, how could he possibly have a future with her if he himself does not believe he's worthy of her?
He needs to hear this song. He needs to let go. He needs to commit to himself in all his glory, and believe in himself - all his strengths and all his positive traits. He needs to love himself so that others can love him to the same degree or more.
I wish that he could love fearlessly for I believe he will find love when he can love himself.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Purpose
I'm still not sure what we're here for.
I'm not sure that we need a reason.
Sometimes I think it is only about experiencing life and perhaps there need not be any greater purpose, unless we choose to make that happen.
Sometimes, I have thoughts that I just can't get down in writing.
Sometimes, I should just go to sleep and allow my dreams to decipher all the thoughts.
I'm not sure that we need a reason.
Sometimes I think it is only about experiencing life and perhaps there need not be any greater purpose, unless we choose to make that happen.
Sometimes, I have thoughts that I just can't get down in writing.
Sometimes, I should just go to sleep and allow my dreams to decipher all the thoughts.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Reconnecting over Coffee
I had coffee with someone last week who I haven't seen in years. I knew him from work. He was an extremely technical person and I was not. He helped me decipher and understand the components of the products and services and translate those messages into marketing messages. We also got along on a personal level and had interesting chats about non-work related things.
To make a long story short, he is currently now on Long Term Disability and has had a few difficult years.
By fluke, we reconnected last week over coffee and chatted. We shared stories and I was saddened to see just how much of his spirit had been lost in those few short years since I last saw him. What I said to him was:
"Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Unfortunately for you, you've lost what was once your strength, and now as you attempt to live your life in a meaningful way, you continue to look to look at what you're unable to do. Things that you used to be able to do in your sleep are now extremely difficult, and sometimes, perhaps even impossible. You need to mourn that loss, and when you're done, you need to re-evaluate who you are today. What are your strengths and weaknesses now? Go to your strength, and find what you are able to do well now. Take your new-found experiences and discover new strengths that you didn't have before, and that others value. I believe the secret to success and happiness is doing what you enjoy and are good at - no matter where you are in life."
His lightbulb went off and he starts to tell me about some conversations he's had with others about some other things he might be able to do. His face lights up as he realizes that there are things he can do, and there are other ways to do them.
Prior to meeting for coffee, he told his wife that I was someone who always chatted with him about other 'stuff' and had a spirit that most others at the company did not have. I guess when he told me that, it just meant to me that I had an impact on his life years before, and I continue to have an impact on his life now. I feel incredibly joyful about this and can't describe the difference it made in my day.
I guess that's why I always welcome a coffee - I'm never sure what will happen and who's life may change. Many times, it's mine that gets changed for the better.
Is there someone you've been thinking about reconnecting with? Just do it. You just never know what might happen.
To make a long story short, he is currently now on Long Term Disability and has had a few difficult years.
By fluke, we reconnected last week over coffee and chatted. We shared stories and I was saddened to see just how much of his spirit had been lost in those few short years since I last saw him. What I said to him was:
"Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Unfortunately for you, you've lost what was once your strength, and now as you attempt to live your life in a meaningful way, you continue to look to look at what you're unable to do. Things that you used to be able to do in your sleep are now extremely difficult, and sometimes, perhaps even impossible. You need to mourn that loss, and when you're done, you need to re-evaluate who you are today. What are your strengths and weaknesses now? Go to your strength, and find what you are able to do well now. Take your new-found experiences and discover new strengths that you didn't have before, and that others value. I believe the secret to success and happiness is doing what you enjoy and are good at - no matter where you are in life."
His lightbulb went off and he starts to tell me about some conversations he's had with others about some other things he might be able to do. His face lights up as he realizes that there are things he can do, and there are other ways to do them.
Prior to meeting for coffee, he told his wife that I was someone who always chatted with him about other 'stuff' and had a spirit that most others at the company did not have. I guess when he told me that, it just meant to me that I had an impact on his life years before, and I continue to have an impact on his life now. I feel incredibly joyful about this and can't describe the difference it made in my day.
I guess that's why I always welcome a coffee - I'm never sure what will happen and who's life may change. Many times, it's mine that gets changed for the better.
Is there someone you've been thinking about reconnecting with? Just do it. You just never know what might happen.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Running to Stand Still
Sometimes, it feels just like that U2 song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsoYV0RS2d8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsoYV0RS2d8&feature=related
And I wonder if we are running, and not getting anywhere, perhaps we should just enjoy the run while we're doing it? That way, if we get somewhere, GREAT. If not, at least we enjoyed the ride.
Enjoy the sounds
Enjoy the sights
Enjoy the taste
Enjoy the feel
Enjoy the ride
Enjoy the sounds
Enjoy the sights
Enjoy the taste
Enjoy the feel
Enjoy the ride
Success in workplace washrooms
Go ahead. Laugh.
Well, this may be difficult to understand for the men, but I'm going to have fun writing it anyway!
I finished up one meeting with Max (see Oct 31st post for more about Max), and we were supposed to meet in his office for another meeting. He said "I'll meet you there". He disappeared, and didn't show up for quite a while. Luckily for me, I had my laptop with me, and continued to work while I waited. When he finally showed up, he indicated that he got stuck in a conversation with someone else while taking a washroom break. I told him that women were at an extreme disadvantage in this company/organization because of this. He looked at me with disbelief and asked me to explain it.
I work for a male dominated industry/company/organization. Many men in the organization have trouble with women in certain male-dominated roles, and the women have to prove themselves a touch more than the men. Many a decision has been made while in the washroom (I assume while hand-washing or when the business is done). And it is difficult as a woman to compete at this level. How do you informally get the same informal advantages? It's nearly impossible. The benefits of the washroom include being able to nail down someone you've been trying to reach, getting answers, getting buy-in and the general networking is priceless.
When Max asked me if women chatted in the washroom, I laughed. 1) Generally, we're talking about other things, 2) And male-dominated companies means the decision-makers are in the other washroom.
Max just doesn't begin to understand.
I'll just have to think about how I can turn this into an advantage.
Well, this may be difficult to understand for the men, but I'm going to have fun writing it anyway!
I finished up one meeting with Max (see Oct 31st post for more about Max), and we were supposed to meet in his office for another meeting. He said "I'll meet you there". He disappeared, and didn't show up for quite a while. Luckily for me, I had my laptop with me, and continued to work while I waited. When he finally showed up, he indicated that he got stuck in a conversation with someone else while taking a washroom break. I told him that women were at an extreme disadvantage in this company/organization because of this. He looked at me with disbelief and asked me to explain it.
I work for a male dominated industry/company/organization. Many men in the organization have trouble with women in certain male-dominated roles, and the women have to prove themselves a touch more than the men. Many a decision has been made while in the washroom (I assume while hand-washing or when the business is done). And it is difficult as a woman to compete at this level. How do you informally get the same informal advantages? It's nearly impossible. The benefits of the washroom include being able to nail down someone you've been trying to reach, getting answers, getting buy-in and the general networking is priceless.
When Max asked me if women chatted in the washroom, I laughed. 1) Generally, we're talking about other things, 2) And male-dominated companies means the decision-makers are in the other washroom.
Max just doesn't begin to understand.
I'll just have to think about how I can turn this into an advantage.
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